Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm a mischievous drunk.
I love the Marx Brothers.
No means yes in grasshopper language.
I don't pick stuff up, I knock stuff down!
I've never been to Hawaii. It looks amazing.
Never try and go on a solo mission on your own.
Englishmen do like to get in a dress, any excuse.
You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder.
It's impossible to be unhappy while wearing a poncho!
When you're quite young, your imagination's quite free.
You must have stuck a finger up your arse at least once.
I don't hate Coldplay to be cool I genuinely hate Coldplay.
Science teachers and the mentally ill, that's all Jazz is for.
You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantulas' eggs?
That's the authentic punk dance. It's like a child dizzy on lemonade.
I'd like to punch out a really old lady. There'd be no repercussions.
The tie's a multi purpose accessory, y'know, belt, school boy, Rambo.
Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness.
Some people have a fear of being on stage. I have a fear of coming off it.
My mum and dad are massive Bowie fans, so I grew up listening to his music.
The Monkees? I heard that they were quite into their party scene at one point.
I always had a sort of niggling regret that we didn't come do stuff in America.
I make an all right Bowie. Actually, I look more like Cilla Black with that wig.
They call me the confuser. Is he a man... is he a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind.
My mum and dad are quite hippyish, so I'm pretty naive. I take everyone at face value.
Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man. Made from the tears of Robert Smith.
I've got it all in here ultra violets, flying saucers, strawberry bootlace come on get involved.
I believe in fate. I didn't set out to be a comedian at first. I'm still not sure if I am or not.
My parents had lots of parties. They were hopelessly bohemian. They were just 18 when they had me.
'Moonage Daydream' is my favourite because it's an amazing pop tune with such strange parts to it.
When I was at art college, a can of Spray Mount adhesive cost £12: £2 more than my weekly food bill.
When I was a little kid I always wanted to be ginger. My best friend was ginger and he was pretty cool.
You can't please all of the people all of the time; you can only please some of the people some of the time.
I wanted to create the weirdest show ever made on television - a punky, prog-rock nightmare of lurid colours.
We got everythin' we need here. We got Baileys, creamy, and, um... everythin' good. I'll get ya another Baileys
Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out.
Fame is a bit Nietzschean. For everything good, something bad happens to you, so you have to sort of be careful.
When I'm 70 I might be a man in a park just wandering around, speaking in tongues with kids throwing bread at me.
I did work in a bakery for one day. But the boss went off and when he came back I was lying on the floor eating cakes.
I'd rather do smaller theaters, because it's more fun for the audience and more fun for me. I like to build up demand.
I could get an audience into my world and if you can do that, they'll go with you not all the way, but a lot of the way.
In television, there are so many things between you making a joke and the audience seeing it. It's like an assault course.
In comedy, you see yourself as a newcomer and then you realize you've been doing it for 18, 20 years, which is ridiculous.
When I was 14, I had a job in a cake shop. I got caught by the boss, lying down eating cake, and was sacked on my first day.
I quite like bacon sandwiches because they're colourful. Mashed potato on toast is fine. But colourful and easy to eat is best.
All my friends got dogs and cats for Christmas, and I got a starfish called Roy. I used to take him down to the park on a lead.
When I was a really young child, I felt like I could see fairies. I was convinced there were fairies in my grandmother's garden.
I'm involved with this exhibition, which is a collection of Nobby Clarke's photos of the opening night of my own art exhibition.
When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.