Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If I did better... I'd be God.
Pessimism is my default setting.
My greatest fear is fear. Ooh, meta.
I own nothing of value at all. I spend money on experiences.
Very important to celebrate victories, however tiny, I always say.
My greatest crush was Chandler from 'Friends'. And Goran Ivanisevic.
My greatest crush was Chandler from 'Friends.' And Goran Ivanisevic.
About me - I used to want to be a P.E. teacher, and kind of still do.
No blessing goes uncontested. It will take a long time to get your dream.
Writing humour certainly involves pain. A sitcom is 6 months of writing pain!
I've never felt like a woman fighting in a male world; I've never felt penalised.
I don't know who St. Valentine was, but I hope he died alone, surrounded by couples.
I have a fantastic method for anti-ageing. It's eating. Plumps out your skin beautifully.
It's on the bucket list for sure to do a comedy film, even if it was just one line on the lot.
I'm such a comedy fan that I just love laughing and so admire comedians who have brought me joy.
I am essentially a middle-aged woman who likes making up weird snack combinations and galloping.
No one likes a show-off, but if parallel parking was an Olympic sport, I would get gold, no probs.
Life is a series of embarrassing moments which leave you feeling alone in your confusion and shame
I'm very much in denial that I can't dance. I really go for it, which is almost more embarrassing.
Look in the mirror and say, 'There is none other like you and for that reason alone you are beautiful.
It's a real man who can go out with a woman who's taller than he is. That's an alpha male right there.
I never admitted what I wanted to do for a career to anyone until I was 26. I wish I'd piped up at 18.
We are all unique, which makes us beautiful; so never despair, and just chill the hell out about it all.
I only really and truly fully relax on my own. Give me a sun lounger, a pool and a sea view, and I'm happy.
You need to know that even as life develops in superficially disappointing ways, there is still fun to be had.
I see myself as a comedian rather than a female comedian. I happen to be a woman, but I am a comedian by trade.
My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I know'. I loved that.
Manicures: Which are basically just holding hands with a stranger for forty-five minutes whilst listening to Enya.
I have always thought of comedy as an important job and medium, and so I put pressure on myself to do the best I can.
We all get given these bodies, and they're all fascinating and different... I wouldn't want to be without the wrinkles.
My Dear Reader Chum, a very hearty hello to you. What an honour and privilege it is to have you perusing my written word.
People are obviously going to mention what I look like, but it's a shame it has to be a key part. I can't just be Miranda.
I started watching some 'Doctor Who' recently on my own and got too scared. I had to watch it in the daytime - I'm pathetic.
Live in hope. Because things do happen. Things do change. Worry really is futile. Don't fear the future. Dreams do come true.
Get me a skinny frappuccino. I have no idea what that is - I would like to think you would be presented with a tiny Italian man.
Reviews are written by people who don't understand the process of sitcom. I don't read reviews of anything. I go by word of mouth.
People come up to me and say, 'Can I just thank you for writing my life?' And I reply, 'I'm glad someone else is as idiotic as I am.'
Things don't have to come to you in your youth. It's fine for them to come to you when you get older. That's a motto in my household.
I am not married, no. I wasn't really into the notion when I was younger, but now I think a proposal is the ultimate romantic gesture.
You want comedic themes to be recogniseable life truths that we all battle with, and with that comes the healing properties of comedy.
Also, in your 20s, if you are beautiful, everything comes to you, so you never need to develop a personality. I never had that problem.
I'll always have to force myself to see the positive, because I'm wired badly, I'd say. I'm just naturally a bit under, a bit depressed.
I want to be more physical and theatrical within the stand-up. There might be dance moments, and people better watch out - I will gallop.
Everyone - particularly my female friends I speak to - all say 'I wouldn't be in my twenties again if I was paid.' It's a difficult time.
I think babies are a bit boring, actually. They're OK when they're older; they make you laugh. I think we all think that, really - we just don't say it.
I'm not particularly into the formal, political side of faith, although I am spiritual and I do have a faith. But 'Strictly Come Dancing' is my religion.
I have written the only diet book that I believe needs to exist, and here it is: CHAPTER ONE: Eat a bit less. CHAPTER TWO: Move about a bit more. THE END.
I am pleased to say that as I get older, I get less and less like the sitcom 'Miranda.' She is really a clown character, a heightened version of the 20-something me.
I'd like someone tall, dark and nice. Independent and confident. Not a macho man. Perhaps a little bit girly, in a way. The key for me is if we can cry with laughter.
I think it's sad when people stop dreaming, or start losing hope. Because holding onto the bonkers dream might just turn out to be the most marvellous thing you ever did.