Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I love Broadway shows.
I always live tweet 'SNL.'
Pain is funnier than love.
I'm a compulsive everything.
The key is to do what you love.
I'm incapable of feeling any joy.
Comedy unites, it doesn't divide!
I consider Lena Dunham a comedian.
There is no such thing as #1 in art.
I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.
'Terminator 2' is so good. I love it.
I think the cleverness is inadvertent.
Essentially, retweets are like laughs.
Art is socialism but life is capitalism.
Our fear leads us to say no all the time.
Nobody knows the life of the working comic.
You have to be delusional to be a comedian.
Prose is all about embellishing and describing.
I just don't give off a great first impression.
Does anyone know a word that rhymes with shark?
The economy of film forces you to make choices.
Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder.
I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.
Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.
With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical.
I'd much rather try and fail than talk about trying.
Life is unfair and improv is a great metaphor of that.
I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me.
All techniques of comedy are valid and interesting to me.
I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.
I feel like people have more in common than the news reports.
The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.
The list of fun and easily-fixed brain diseases is very short.
I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical.
I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.
I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.
Making a film is beyond exciting. It's so exciting, it's exhausting.
Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.
A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'
My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.
I didn't realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents.
If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it.
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans.
Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.
Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.
The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.
I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.
I think Mitch Hedberg is one of the great comedians of the past 20 years.
The key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.