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When I look back at the world championships, I know there's a lot of room for improvement, I'm always up for a challenge. The Olympics, they don't define me, I've had some good and some bad. But it's all about the Olympic experience.
I was improving in the sport at age 10, 11, when I was getting my triple jumps - and it was suddenly very isolating. I was doing really well in competitions, and it felt strange because people that were my friends became almost jealous.
I look back at 1993 or 1994 when I made it to the National Championships, and I was on used skates and handmade or borrowed costumes. But my mom was there every step of the way for me: she was the one traveling with me all over the world at age 13.
Looking back, I feel very fortunate to have had such a long career. Many skaters end their careers in their early 20s. I had the opportunity to go to two Olympic Games - almost three after being the alternate in 1994 and then in 2006 being injured.
A few years after I finished skating, someone asked where my medals were. I'm like, 'In a suitcase somewhere.' Now they're nicely displayed in an ice rink, but medals don't really mean that much. It's the experience, the story of the skating, the love.
When I look at the kids training today... I can tell which ones are going to do well. It's not necessarily the ones who have the most natural talent or who fall the least. Sometimes it's the kids who fall the most, and keep pulling themselves up and trying again.
I always thought after 2002 that I'd hang up my skates and turn professional and just go on tour and do shows. But I don't know when it is enough. I mean, I still enjoy it. I'm the luckiest girl alive that I get to perform in front of thousands of people, do what I love doing.
If you ask another competitor, they may tell you they felt very competitive towards me. But I can tell you that my biggest competition was myself. There's only so much you can do, right? There is only so much energy that one has. My focus was on how do I get the best out of myself.
When I look at my own career, growing up, I was doing really well at age 11, but it was kind of isolating because back then, people weren't hanging out with me. My mom was always there. She had my back and was like, 'You keep focused. You gotta keep focused.' And I think those kinds of lessons were hard.
Maybe I didn't get new skates, but I got used skates. I made it to the national championships in used skates that were custom-made for another girl. I still have those skates. Underneath the arch, there was a name crossed out and my dad had 'Michelle Kwan' written in. Granted, they were a little big, but it worked.
As a kid, falling was embarrassing. As I got older, I got used to falling and picking myself back up. There's not a sense of failure. It's of disappointment. You train so hard to not make mistakes. When you do, you're learning from that. How do I improve? How do I get better for the next time? Through every failure, there's something to be learned.