Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Comedy is subjective.
I'm a huge Steven Martin fan.
That's my only goal: Stay off crack.
Comedy's my outlet for my ridiculous emotions.
I remember liking the MTV awards when I was a kid.
I grew up in the projects with four older brothers.
Nothing is funnier than a true story told by a bitter old black man.
It's a hard, lonely feeling, to be completely yourself in front of strangers.
There's tons of stuff where you're like, "God, I wish I could take that back."
I can tell how honest a joke is or how true a joke is by how fast the laughs come.
America's a gangbanger country. We got our gang, and everything else is irrelevant.
To deliver something deadpan is very difficult; I don't think people know how hard those jokes are.
In comedy you work with people so often that they just become familiar faces - it's like a fraternity.
In comedy, you work with people so often that they just become familiar faces - it's like a fraternity.
When I was about nine, I went to school with a toothbrush in my mouth. I saw Method Man do it in a video.
My uncle is a martial artist, and in the early '80s, he made a kung fu flick with director Charlie Ahearn.
When I was little, I used to suck the candy coating off of Advil and spit the white part back in the bottle.
I follow a lot of news outlets on Twitter, so I'll just go skim through the headlines and see what's going on.
If I could work with Eddie Murphy on 'SNL,' I think I could quit comedy forever. For me and my generation, he's God.
I can't speak for every American comic, but for me, a great show is its own reward. Comedy is too subjective for awards.
I would say Colin Jost is Kanye West because he takes like the creative risk a lot of times, whereas I'm like, "Uh, I don't know..."
I'm a big Knicks fan, and I will tell a professional basketball player that they suck because they didn't do what I wanted them to do.
I feel like comedy is only respected on the highest level, and on every other level, it's like a joke, like, 'Ugh - comedian,' you know?
Donald Trump is Donald Trump! He doesn't apologize for who he is. We know he's tacky. We know he's orange. We know he's got a bad haircut.
I don't know how you can do comedy once every two weeks. Ever since I started, if I'm off for three days, I got to learn how to do comedy again.
If you're honest about things, people will trust you, even if you're a bad guy. That says something about where we are and who we are as people.
I think when you first get a job, you're just trying to do what the last regime did, just to keep it going, as opposed to actually doing what you want to do.
Live comedy is fantastic. It's when live comedy is transcribed and reported and critiqued outside of the venue without context that things become complicated.
It's a unique fraternity to be a standup. I think everybody understands, you know, opportunity, and everybody - especially at the top - are genuinely rooting for you.
Watching someone getting really angry can be very funny - if it doesn't affect you, you can laugh at it, and the sillier the thing he's angry about, the funnier it is.
Your number one job as a comedian is to be aware. You're supposed to understand the temperature in the room more than anyone on the planet - that's the whole craft of comedy.
I have six brothers and sisters. My mother has six kids from two different marriages. And we would just sit around making fun of each other's dad, and all our dads had real problems.
I would love to do more TV and do movies for the experience, but my ultimate focus is stand-up. It's the number one thing that I love most because there is nothing like being with a live audience.
I used to paint pictures - what happened was, I used to draw and paint pictures. And some of my friends would be, like, 'Yo, you should put that on a T-shirt,' because that's where their brain would go.
No matter how you feel, you've got to be able to laugh at yourself. If you can laugh at Donald Trump, then you better be able to laugh at yourself, too. For us as comedians, we have to point out what's funny.
Cartoon violence is something very vivid and dark but made palatable for children in a fun way. That's the kind of comedy I do - I try to take subjects that might seem deep and make them as silly as possible.
If I think something's funny, I try to mold it into a joke as soon as possible. Once I have a joke, I say it a million different ways on stage until I find a rhythm and it feels like it's as good as it can be.
As a guy comedian, your special is probably the closest thing to the excitement of a wedding day. It's your first one, and you want it to be perfect, and you want it to mean something. You want it to look good.
Yes, I believe in equality. But I don't like the word 'feminist,' because it's such a rational belief to think that women are equal to men, and I'm a rational person. You shouldn't be labeled for being reasonable.
I think satire suffered under Obama, but not because of Obama. People are more sensitive now than ever, and strong satirical voices are stifled because of that. I don't think a Clinton presidency would change that.
I grew up in the projects with four older brothers. And there were tough, macho gangsters, drug dealers, killers, and thugs all in my neighborhood. And they were afraid of my mother. So, yeah, I know some strong women.
I don't like to travel. I go out. When you do stand up, you travel a lot. Just working out. I don't really enjoy it. I like New York. There's nothing really like New York. Everything just becomes a worse version of New York.
Improv classes were too expensive, so I just started going to open mics. And the day I did it, I did, like, three because I just loved it so much. It was so much fun. And it wasn't good, it was just fun to do. It felt like a release.
I like comedy that's not political but social, dealing with issues of people talking to each other. No matter what your politics, we still have to live with each other. Politics is taking a side. I'm not running for office, you know?
One of the hardest things in the world to say is "President Trump," and not out of disrespect - just because people have known him just as Donald Trump for so long. It would be like if people said, "He's a doctor now, call him Doctor Trump."
What joke can I say about Donald Trump that he hasn't said about himself? When he gets dressed, he comes out as Donald Trump. We've made fun of his hair for 30 years. It's still the same if not worse. There's nothing we could really say about him.
I believe in equality. But I don't like the word feminist, because it's such a rational belief to think that women are equal to men, and I'm a rational person. You shouldn't be labeled for being reasonable. You should be labeled if you're f-cking crazy.
I feel like it's a lot easier to parody Democrats just because they take themselves so seriously. I think Republicans have a little bit more of an open mind as to how ridiculous they are. Democrats pride themselves in being the highbrow, smart, right choice.
I'm from New York, and I started in New York, which I think is a huge advantage because I wasn't overwhelmed by the city. I understood the city. All of the distractions that could come with somebody that started comedy in New York didn't really happen for me.
When you inherit a segment that people grew up with, they are like, "This is not what I'm used to." It's hard. There's a period where you're trying to do what people are used to and fulfill what they miss. After a while you just have got to shake it off and be yourself.