Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made.
You cannot have fun with anything that you don't love or admire or respect.
Making a movie is like making an ocean voyage, and the script is your ship.
If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.
I love gentiles. In fact, on of my favorite activities is Protestant spotting.
There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere.
Nothing is free. You got to pay to be in society. First you start with homework.
If you're alive, make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death.
If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.
Sir, I have seen your film and it is vulgar! Madame, my film rises below vulgarity.
If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Not only should we laugh about Hitler. We must laugh about him. Especially in Berlin.
I don't know what to say so I'll just say what's in my heart...badoom, badoom, badoom.
I was a soldier in WWII. The last couple of months of the war I was actually in combat.
I know how to make it a great musical. I've got to. It's like I've got to see it on stage.
My mother is very short - four-eleven. She could walk under tables and never hit her head.
Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.
My favorite expression is: When you go up to the bell, ring it ? or don't go up to the bell.
One day, God said 'Let there be prey.' And he created pigeons, rabbits, lambs and Gene Wilder.
I'm married to a beautiful and talented woman who can lift your spirits just by looking at you.
I'll accept bad taste in a minute, as long as there's some great comedy minds and performances.
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.
I don't think in terms of results at all. I think: what next insanity can I shock the world with?
Being short never bothered me for three seconds. The rest of the time I wanted to commit suicide.
When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I've always felt okay in Berlin.
You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself.
I always thought it was great to be able to make people feel better. It was a little like being God.
The only thing we don't have a god for is premature ejaculation... but I hear that it's coming quickly.
There's not enough bad taste! I LOVE bad taste! I live for bad taste! I am the spokesman for bad taste!
The egg cream is psychologically the opposite of circumcision--it pleasurably reaffirms your Jewishness.
I've always loved songwriting, and I vowed to be a songwriter like Cole Porter when I was only 9 years old.
I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all.
I wanted to entertain so badly that I kept at it until I was good. I just browbeat my way into show business.
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.
Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.
Why should I waste my good time making a straight dramatic film? The people who can't make you laugh can do that.
I love spaghetti and sex, sometimes together. My dream of heaven is walking naked through fields of pasta fazool.
My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
I'm always stunned when I find out people like Roosevelt and Tolstoy weren't Jewish. How could I love them so much?
A cinema villain essentially needs a moustache so he can twiddle with it gleefully as he cooks up his next nasty plan.
Coleman Jacoby and Arnie Rosen won an Emmy and Mel Brooks didn't! Niezsche was right! There is no God! There is no God!
Creative people should always be striving, they should always be hungry, they should be looking for the next place to go.
I was out in the combat engineers. We would throw up bridges in advance of the infantry but mainly we would just throw up.
My brothers went to work at 12 and put themselves through school and brought the family out of ruin into food and clothing.
I was born on the kitchen table. We were so poor my mother couldn't afford to have me; the lady next door gave birth to me.
It would be hypocritical of me to take issue with anything in questionable taste, seeing that I invented bad taste in films.
Some critics are emotionally desiccated, personally about as attractive as a year-old peach in a single girl's refrigerator.
As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me.
All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it's a sign of security.