Tweetin' ain't cheatin'.

Celebrity is the religion of our time.

Are women necessary? Not with Ava around

Personally, I've decided to stop evolving.

If you're famous enough, the rules don't apply.

Maybe Obama was not even the person he was waiting for.

Good and evil are not like the Redskins and the Cowboys.

I think the evangelicals think they're in a holy war now.

It takes a lot of adrenaline and fear to make me actually write.

Zingers should glow with intelligence as well as drip with contempt.

Don't write anything down, but save everything that anyone else writes down.

If wit is the most sophisticated form of humor, pranks are the most juvenile.

Perpetual optimism is annoying. It is a sign that you are not paying attention.

Obama hates selling. He thinks people should just accept the right thing to do.

I don't understand men. I don't even understand what I don't understand about men.

The idea of American exceptionalism doesn't extend to Americans being exceptional.

Women are affected by lunar tides only once a month; men have raging hormones every day.

Afghanistan is more than the 'graveyard of empires.' It's the mother of vicious circles.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

One must not attempt to justify them, but rather to sense their nature simply and clearly.

It is men's worst fear, personally and professionally, that women will pin the sin on them.

As a woman, I know that if I write about another woman, it will be perceived as a catfight.

Americans want to be protected, but not at the cost of vitiating the values that make us Americans.

For two centuries, the South has feared a takeover by blacks or the feds. In Obama, they have both.

Just because digital technology makes connecting possible doesn't mean you're actually reaching people.

A friendship between reporter and source lasts only until it is profitable for one to betray the other.

Celebrity distorts democracy by giving the rich, beautiful, and famous more authority than they deserve.

My eating habits were so bad for many years that I didn't actually know the intricacies of making a salad.

Women have become so obsessed with not withering, they've forgotten that there are infinite ways to be beautiful.

I find having a column a very difficult form of journalism. I'm not a natural like Tom Friedman and Anna Quindlen.

I think Hillary Clinton's a very clever politician but she would be too easy to stereotype the way John Kerry was.

[On journalists:] We are a noisy, imperfect lot, struggling to scribble what has been called the first draft of history.

When I need to work up my nerve to write a tough column, I try to think of myself as Emma Peel in a black leather catsuit.

President Obama thinks he can use emotion to bring pressure on Congress. But that's not how adults with power respond to things.

Military guys are rarely as smart as they think they are, and they've never gotten over the fact that civilians run the military.

Wooing the press is an exercise roughly akin to picnicking with a tiger. You might enjoy the meal, but the tiger always eats last.

The sounds of silence are a dim recollection now, like mystery, privacy and paying attention to one thing — or one person — at a time.

Journalism, spooked by rumors of its own obsolescence, has stopped believing in itself. Groans of doom alternate with panicked happy talk.

F.D.R. achieved greatness not by means of imposing his temperament and intellect on the world but by reacting to what the world threw at him.

The Republican game is hilariously transparent: if Obama doesn't shift to more muscular postures, he's not a patriot. If he does, he's a flip-flopper.

Reagan didn't socialize with the press. He spent his evenings with Nancy, watching TV with dinner trays. But he knew that to transcend, you can't condescend.

If there's one thing white men have never had a problem with in this clubby, white marble enclave of Washington, it's getting pulled up the ladder by other men.

The insane have achieved political respectability while the sane act too good for it all. The irrational celebrate while the rational act bored and above-it-all.

It's passing strange that Obama, carried to a second term by women, blacks and Latinos, chooses to give away the plumiest Cabinet and White House jobs to white dudes.

Washington is a place where people have always been suspect of style and overt sexuality. Too much preening signals that you're not up late studying cap-and-trade agreements.

And as far as doing God's work, I think the bankers who took government money and then gave out obscene bonuses are the same self-interested sorts Jesus threw out of the temple.

The guilty pleasure I miss most when I'm out slogging on the campaign trail is the chance to sprawl on the chaise and watch a vacuously spunky and generically sassy chick flick.

Even when conservatives have all the marbles, they still act as if they're under siege. Now that they are under siege, it is no time for them to act as if they're losing their marbles.

The C.E.O. of Google doesn't look like a Dick Cheney World Domination sort whom we should worry about as Google ogles our houses, our oceans, our foibles, our movements and our tastes.

If Americans are worried about money in politics, there is no larger concern than the Clintons, who are cosseted in a world where rich people endlessly scratch the backs of rich people.

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