Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
We are never angry because of what others say or do. It is our thinking that makes us angry.
People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
All moralistic judgments, whether positive or negative, are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.
Let’s shine the light of consciousness on places where we can hope to find what we are seeking.
In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
It's never what people do that makes us angry; it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
When I recognize I've got anger, then I realize it's because I have a need that's not being met.
The key to fostering connection in the face of a 'no' is always hearing 'yes' to something else.
The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.
When we have our consciousness on needs, images come to us, naturally, of how to meet those needs.
We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Anger tells us we've disconnected from life. The purpose in anger is to use it to come back to life.
To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
The spirituality that we need to develop for social change is one that mobilizes us for social change.
If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.
Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another.
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
We do not look for compromise; rather, we seek to resolve the conflict to everyone's complete satisfaction.
Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.
What I want in my life is compassion a flow between myself and others based on mutual giving from the heart.
Most of us live in a Jackal world where we take turns using the other person as a waste basket for our words.
Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
When our communication supports compassionate giving and receiving, happiness replaces violence and grieving.
Unless we as social change agents come from a certain spirituality, we're likely to create more harm than good.
NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.
When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.
Anger, depression, guilt, and shame are the product of the thinking that is at the base of violence on our planet.
When it comes to giving advice, never do so unless you've first received a request in writing, signed by a lawyer.
All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful).
People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.
Never hear what somebody thinks about you, you'll live longer. Hear that they're in pain. Don't hear their analysis.
How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Social change involves helping people see new options for making life wonderful that are less costly to get needs met.
If we want to be compassionate we must be conscious of the words we use. We must both speak and listen from the heart.
Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
If we wish to express anger fully, the first step is to divorce the other person from any responsibility for our anger.
Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.