Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
That is just the way with some people. They get down on a thing when they don’t know nothing about it.
What, sir, would the people of the earth be without woman? They would be scarce, sir, almighty scarce.
Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.
Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relation.
What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.
The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
God, so atrocious in the Old Testament, so attractive in the New--the Jekyl and Hyde of sacred romance.
My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles
Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.
I would much prefer to suffer from the clean incision of an honest lancet than from a sweetened poison.
I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer.
I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
To forget pain is to be painless; to forget care is to be rid of it; to go abroad is to accomplish both.
in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it.
You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
I would rather go to bed with Lillian Russell stark naked than Ulysses S Grant in full military regalia.
When your opinions start to coincide with those of the majority, it is time to reconsider your opinions.
The Autocrat of Russia possesses more power than any other man in the earth; but he cannot stop a sneeze.
The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
Why should anybody want to save the human race, or damn it either? Does God want its society? Does Satan?
When the human race has once acquired a superstition, nothing short of death is ever likely to remove it.
Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training; the odds are too heavy.
He gossips habitually; he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money off them.
The soul and substance of what customarily ranks as patriotism is moral cowardice -- and always has been.
No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done.
It is an important thing, in our never-ending pursuit of happiness, to stop and just be happy for a while.
Can it be possible that the painters make John the Baptist a Spaniard in Madrid and an Irishman in Dublin?
Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfect man.
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.