Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.
What marriage is to morality, a properly conducted licensed liquor traffic is to sobriety.
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.
How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
Thanksgiving day. Let us all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks now, but the turkeys.
Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world.
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere.
Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.
When everyone is looking for gold, it's a good time to be in the pick and shovel business.
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Only he who has seen better days and lives to see better days again knows their full value.
Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is; it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet.
I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it.
The frankest and freest and privatest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter.
None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
You can't no more teach what you ain't learned than you can come from where you ain't been.
The best and most telling speech is not the actual impromptu one but the counterfeit of it.
For a male person bric-a-brac hunting is about as robust a business as making doll-clothes.
Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots.
Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
In truth I care little about any party's politicsthe man behind it is the important thing.
I could never learn to like her, except on a raft at sea with no other provisions in sight.
We do not get ice-cream every where, and so, when we do, we are apt to dissipate to excess.
God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
When you catch an adjective, kill it - perhaps the best possible advice for budding writers.
I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land.
A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously regarded as a thing of beauty.
I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.
A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the man looked honest enough.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it.
I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
Happiness ain't a thing in itself - it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant.
Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.