Homely truth is unpalatable.

Everything human is pathetic

Comedy keeps the heart sweet.

When in doubt tell the truth.

It's not as bad as it sounds.

Geological time is not money.

Travel is lethal to prejudice.

A wanton waste of projectiles.

In love, you pay as you leave.

Be good and you'll be lonesome

Life is short, break the rules.

Comparison is the death of joy.

When angry, count to a hundred.

Labor in loneliness is irksome.

Be good and you will be lonely.

Hunger is the handmaid of genius

Brooklyn praise is half slander.

We are all alike, on the inside.

To stand still is to fall behind.

Humor is man's greatest blessing.

Make your vacation your vocation.

All right, then, I'll go to hell.

Enthusiasm is caught, not taught.

Never mistake motion for progress.

To eat is human, to digest, divine

Let us save the tomorrows for work.

Warm summer sun, shine kindly here.

Tight pants are just uncomfortable.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

The truth hurts, but silence kills.

None but the dead have free speech.

It is higher and nobler to be kind.

Experience comes from bad judgment.

To be busy is man's only happiness.

...fry me an optimist for breakfast.

Wheresoever she was, there was Eden.

Figures don't lie, but liars figure.

A German joke is no laughing matter.

Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

Chastity - you can carry it too far.

Modesty died when clothes were born.

Names are not always what they seem.

An honest politician is an oxymoron.

Do right and you will be conspicuous.

The problem with education is school.

Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.

Man - a figment of God's imagination.

Never tell a lie-except for practice.

Ah, if he could only die temporarily!

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