Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.
Obscurity and a competence—that is the life that is best worth living.
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
There are three kinds of liars: liars, damned liars, and statisticians
Laws control the lesser man... Right conduct controls the greater one.
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
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There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach.
For the majority of us, the past is a regret, the future an experiment
How stunning are the changes which age makes in a man while he sleeps!
Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it.
The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny
There is nothing like instances to grow hair on a bald-headed argument.
An adventure is something that while it's happening you wish it wasn't.
The calamity that comes is never the one we had prepared ourselves for.
There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it.
I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
God has put something noble and good into every heart His hand created.
An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music.
Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful.
The future interests me - I'm going to spend the rest of my life there.
I wonder if God created man because He was disappointed with the monkey.
Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life.
The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.
Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employs a million.
Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
In statesmanship get formalities right, never mind about the moralities.
Taking the pledge will not make bad liquor good, but it will improve it.
The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.
Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time.
Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.
Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
All scenery in California requires distance to give it its highest charm.
How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.
Always tell the truth. That way you don't have to remember what you said.
It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.