Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
It is no harm to be an ass, if one is content to bray and not kick.
God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.
Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
No sinner is ever saved after the first twenty minutes of a sermon.
When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
We laugh and laugh. Then cry and cry- Then feebler laugh, Then die.
There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work.
When ill luck begins, it does not come in sprinkles, but in showers.
Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
The poetry is all in the anticipation, for there is none in reality.
If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it.
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
If you can't stand solitude, perhaps others find you boring as well.
One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
I fell in love with the most cordial and sociable city in the Union.
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
The truth is a precious commodity. That's why I use it so sparingly.
I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
An occasional compliment is necessary to keep up one's self-respect.
It is hard enough luck being a monarch, without being a target also.
The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail.
I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
Ignorance is not, not knowing something. It is knowing what isn't so.
There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry.
I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
He was sunshine most always-I mean he made it seem like good weather.
The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it.
Always do what's right. That will gratify some and surprise the rest.
I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies.
The institution of royalty in any form is an insult to the human race.
This is the only sane clerical the earthquake has exposed to view yet.
If we had less statemanship we could get along with fewer battleships.