Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you would be unloved and forgotten, be reasonable.
Sometimes I wonder about the Creator of the Universe.
A society is only as healthy as its ideas are humane.
My soul seemed as foul as smoke from burning cat fur.
Everything about life is a joke. Don't you know that?
There is nothing intelligent to say about a massacre.
Man created the checkerboard; God created the karass.
We are here for no purpose, unless we can invent one.
Evolution is so creative. That's how we got giraffes.
Pretend to be good always and even God will be fooled.
A sane person to an insane society must appear insane.
All persons, living and dead, are purely coincidental.
The insane, on occasion, are not without their charms.
There are too many of us and we are all too far apart.
Maybe they invited me because they know I have a tuxedo
The two prime movers in the Universe are Time and Luck.
I think, therefore I am, therefore I am photographable.
I was a victim of a series of accidents, as are we all.
As stupid and vicious as men are, this is a lovely day.
Unusual travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
Never trust a survivor until you know how they survived.
It's a small world. When you put it in a cemetery, it is.
Being an American means never having to say you're sorry.
Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.
Hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide.
Ignore the awful times, and concentrate on the good ones.
I have had all I can stand of not taking myself seriously.
I now make my living by being impolite. I am clumsy at it.
The most heartbreakingly beautiful girl I ever hope to see
Most kids can't afford to go to Harvard to be misinformed.
You realize, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
We could have saved the Earth but we were too damned cheap.
Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
We are healthy only to the extent that our ideas are humane.
The only proof he needed for the existance of God was music.
Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.
Round and round we spin, with feet of lead and wings of tin.
We could have saved the earth, but we were too damned cheap.
The hare of history once more overtakes the tortoise of art.
Well here you are, there it is, THIS is what it's all about.
I'd rather have written "Cheers" than anything I've written.
Having a yacht is a reason for being more cheerful than most.
It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead.
Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
We are all experiments in enthusiasms, narrow and preordained.
Truth can be really powerful stuff if you're not expecting it.
The hopes and fears of all our years are here with us tonight.
Please — a little less love, and a little more common decency.
You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too.
No good at life, but very funny sometimes with the commentary.