Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.
We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
In order to live off a garden, you practically have to live in it.
The hardest thing is writing a recommendation for someone we know.
Executive: a man who makes quick decisions and is sometimes right.
The world gets better every day - then worse again in the evening.
Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.
Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Weep, an' it keeps on laughin'.
Beauty is . . . a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
Some folks pay a compliment like they went down in their pocket for it.
There's another advantage to being poor - a doctor will cure you faster.
We're all self-made men, but not very many of us have stayed on the job.
Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
The worst waste of breath, next to playing a saxophone, is advising a son
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed
Washing your car and polishing it all up is a never failing sign of rain.
A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one.
Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.
An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
The reason the way of the transgressor is hard is because it's so crowded.
Bees are not as busy as we think they are. They just can't buzz any slower.
If there's anything mean in a feller, a litter authority will bring it out.
I haven't heard of anybody who wants to stop living on account of the cost.
A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
It seems that nothing ever gets to going good till there's a few resignations
If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.
Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Some folks seem to have descended from the chimpanzee much later than others.
A sympathizer is a fellow that's for you as long as it doesn't cost anything.
Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband.
Of all the unbearable nuisances, the ignoramus that has traveled is the worst.
Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.
A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends.
If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
Every father expects his boy to do the things he wouldn't do when he was young.
The only time some fellows are seen with their wives is after they're indicted.
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
There isn't much to be seen in a little town, but what you hear makes up for it.
Knowin' all about baseball is just about as profitable as bein' a good whittler.
The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.