Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for it.
Spring makes everything look filthy.
No nice men are good at getting taxis.
The disease is painless; it's the cure that hurts.
I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool.
Outside every thin woman is a fat man trying to get in.
In hell they will bore you, in heaven you will bore them.
It's a pity more men are not bastards by birth instead of vocation.
Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for it.
A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.
Children and zip fasteners do not respond to force ... except occasionally.
The wind of change, whatever it is, blows most freely through an open mind.
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
Being young is not having any money; being young is not minding not having any money.
Why do born-again people so often make you wish they'd never been born the first time?
Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel.
The rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.
Things a mother should know: how to comfort a son without exactly saying Daddy was wrong.
It beats me how Freud could say "What do women want?" as if we all must want the same thing.
From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.
The great rule is not to talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.
I used to think the only use for sport was to give small boys something else to kick besides me.
Filing is concerned with the past; anything you actually need to see again has to do with the future.
In my next life I want to be a pessimist. Then other people could spend all their time cheering me up.
It is a pity that so often the only way to treat girls like people seems to be to treat them like boys.
A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
The main purpose of children's parties is to remind you that there are children more awful than your own.
Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?
Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?
Does anybody who gave up smoking to save a pound a week have a pound at the end of the week? Not on your life.
I am all for people having their heart in the right place; but the right place for a heart is not inside the head.
A good marriage is like Dr Who's Tardis: small and banal from the outside but spacious and interesting from within.
The Life and Soul, the man who will never go home while there is one man, woman or glass of anything not yet drunk.
As I look around the West End these days, it seems to me that outside every thin girl is a fat man, trying to get in.
I just wish, when neither of us has written to my husband's mother, I didn't feel so much worse about it than he does.
I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center, but it's no place actually to get any work done.
The best career advice to give to the young is, 'Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it.'
Too great a preoccupation with motives (especially one's own motive) is liable to lead to too little concern for consequences.
There are some circles in America where it seems to be more socially acceptable to carry a hand-gun than a packet of cigarettes.
When it comes to housework the one thing no book of household management can ever tell you is how to begin. Or maybe I mean why.
I wouldn't say when you've seen one Western you've seen the lot; but when you've seen the lot you get the feeling you've seen one.
As anyone who has ever fallen foul of an airport, a conventional hospital or a bad restaurant knows, misery is made up of little things.
Any committee that is the slightest use is composed of people who are too busy to want to sit on it for a second longer than they have to.
Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they'll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.
The case against censoring anything is absolute: ... nothing that could be censored can be so bad in its effects, in the long run, as censorship itself.
Perennials are the ones that grow like weeds, biennials are the ones that die this year instead of next and hardy annuals are the ones that never come up at all.
a perfectly managed Christmas correct in every detail is, like basted inside seams and letters answered by return, a sure sign of someone who hasn't enough to do.
As ridiculous to approve of property and let a few men have a grossly unfair share of it, as say you are all for marriage, and then let one man have all the wives.
And what would happen to my illusion that I am a force for order in the home if I wasn't married to the only man north of the Tiber who is even untidier than I am?
[On Malcolm Muggeridge:] He thinks he was knocked off his horse by God, like St. Paul on the road to Damascus. His critics think he simply fell off it from old age.
