Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
It's hard to write a comedy sketch.
I've been told I'm a little bit eccentric.
I pride myself on being tragically uncool.
I hate the feeling of having hair on my neck.
I find donating stuff to be the biggest hassle.
I love the produce section at the grocery store.
I hope to be on 'SNL' as long as they'll let me.
Citizens, you will elect me - I will be your leader.
I work with some of the funniest writers in the country.
I lost $6 in Atlantic City once and said, 'Never again.'
To be employed in the entertainment industry is a miracle.
I love gross kissing. I think it's the most fun thing to do.
I'm a physical comedian first - and I'm a woman before that.
If I had Instagram, it would be pictures of my son, who is a cat.
I'm a very low-key person, but for some reason, I like to act out.
A good impression is sort of a juxtaposition of disparate elements.
My one goal when I started was not to actually vomit on TV or run away.
I love Jared Hess' movies. He's such a weirdo and such a nice, funny guy.
I love to just get in the booth. Put some tracks down. I’m basically Rihanna.
That's the one criteria I have - I can't do an impression of someone I don't like.
I was just never discouraged from doing something wacky like trying to be a comedian.
Progress, real progress, makes me cry harder than anything. When the world itself grows.
I can relate to pushing yourself because you want to help and move culture toward justice.
It just feels unnatural to me to broadcast anything other than the character I've created.
What's not to love about a crazy cat lady? You have to be very giving to be a crazy cat lady.
Even when Facebook came out, and I was in college, I found myself never putting anything on it.
I found I could speak louder and was more comfortable if I was doing it in someone else's crazy voice.
My mom watches really obscure stuff on IFC. She's a real comedy fan. She knows everything that's going on.
My most frequent collaborators at S.N.L. are the incredibly gifted writers Chris Kelly and Sarah Schneider!
'SNL' can be a stressful environment, and I am panicking constantly, but I guess I keep it pretty internal.
Comedy has become, I think, a very important branch of public intellectualism. But it still ain't Washington.
I don't sleep enough, and it does... what is the opposite of wonders... horrors. It does horrors for my skin.
I really like collections of things. I love antique botanical prints with a bunch of different weeds and seeds.
I started watching 'SNL' when I was thirteen or so; those were the Molly Shannon/Ana Gasteyer/Cheri Oteri years.
I've never had a couch that needed to be cleaned or learned how to couch-clean in general. That feels too grown-up.
Even if you're an angry, intense person, you also have to have intense joy about life and intense feelings about the world.
If you asked me to seriously kiss someone on a screen, I would be very uncomfortable. But I will lick any part of your face.
I tried for a short time to be something I wasn't, and had no success with it. It's a practical solution to just be yourself.
I like to connect with people and suss them out. There's no better way than seeing how they react if you just bear into them.
The after-party is always at a restaurant, and for me, the fun starts when I get a cheese platter. That's as f-ed up as I get.
When I was on 'The Big Gay Sketch Show' I thought, 'Well, this is going well now, but then when it's over I'll just be a barista.'
My cat does this thing where he's so happy to see me that he repeatedly smashes his face into my face and purrs like a literal pig.
I was an umpire at little league softball games. I only lasted a few games because I wasn't one hundred percent clear on all the rules.
If I had my druthers, I would be a brain in a jar, with a burlap skirt around the cart I'm on - I don't attend to my physical being much.
Getting recognized on the street is fine, but I never really wanted to be famous. I just wanted to have mastered the art of sketch comedy.
I grew up with a pet iguana named Willy. We had a very contentious relationship. It turns out that iguanas are not meant to live in suburban homes.
You just have to work super hard, and if you have a passion, that's the most beautiful thing in life, and you just have to bust out and do it, baby!
It's such an insult that foul gas comes out of a hole in our butt with a sound to announce itself. It's the ultimate bad thing about being a person.
I have always had eclectic obsessions: astrophysics, music theory, the Mongol empire and its history, and the history of the Silk Road, to name a few.
Maddie Ziegler is the most amazing dancer I've ever seen, and I'm so obsessed with her. I was obsessed with her even before she did her first Sia video.