Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Joan Rivers was my hero.
I always dreamed of living in N.Y.C.
I'm going to be a 'Chopped' champion.
What if obese people couldn't get married?
I've gotten resistance for my entire career.
The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.
My Shabbat dinner is not to be reckoned with.
There is no reason to be ashamed of who you are.
Halloween is an opportunity to be really creative.
To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing.
I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy.
The more life experience you have, the more comedy you can write.
If you're going to hit a car, try to be sure that it's not a cop car
Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it's also about power.
Growing up in New Jersey, bat mitzvas were all about the elegant parties.
'The Judy Show' would be the name of my TV show if I had one, but I don't.
I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners.
My two sons are the biggest pigs - always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.
I didn't want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay.
Many comics stay in one city and develop their acts for that particular audience.
When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews.
I try to win the love and approval of strangers, since it didn't work with my family.
There is nothing - nothing - like writing a great joke and having that joke kill onstage.
In America, I've been told so many times that I look 'too Jewish' that I stopped counting.
My doctor said I had OCD. I couldn't believe it. I had to call him nine times to make sure.
I've never been on one of these shows where you have to make alliances and be a team player.
Women are taught that if you want to be a lady, keep your opinions to yourself and be polite.
Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.
I like being able to donate my comedy to charity. I'm not a billionaire, and I can't write checks.
Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.
I worked at Military Media, an advertising agency for military-base newspapers. Don't ask, I won't tell.
Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don't care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I.
We all know showbiz isn't easy, but being a comic - especially being a female comic - can be quite punishing.
I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I'll do it for the rest of my life.
If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it's the perfect recipe for a sitcom.
Some people use stand-up to get something else in their careers, but it's truly the art form of stand-up I love.
We never talked to each other in my family. We communicated by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons.
As scary as it was being raised by one Jewish mother, I have to feel for my kids because they have two Jewish mothers.
Joan Rivers was a role model to comics everywhere, but especially to women. She got the first laugh and the last laugh.
My mother loves it when I talk about her. Half the time, I think she says things that she knows will go straight into the act.
Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, 'Oh, I'm not gonna vote,' I just wanna tear their heart out.
I have a nice little house in LA. Well, the bedroom is nice. I have French doors in the bedroom. They don't open unless I lick them.
My mother is a tall woman - as is everyone in my family. At her prime, she stood 5 feet 9 inches, which is quite unusual for a woman born in 1922.
My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby's room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids' room.
Remember the phrase - 'Act your age, not your shoe size?' That didn't apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.
When I was a kid, I'd read about celebrities who didn't want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, 'That's terrible, and I would never do that.'
Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.
I love being a Givenik Ambassador. Not only does it give me a platform to discuss my favorite charities, but I get to talk about my other favorite topic - 'The Judy Show!'
I've done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother.