Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
If you believe you can do something, then you can acquire the ability to do it even if you didn't have it in the beginning.
I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
There's tons of people that spend a lot time watching their well being, they have not acquired time to take pleasure in it.
The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.
There is no limit to the vanity of this world. Each spoke in the wheel thinks the whole strength of the wheel depends upon it.
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
True wisdom is plenty of experience, observation, and reflection. False wisdom is plenty of ignorance, arrogance, and impudence.
It's not what we don't know that prevents us from succeeding; it's what we know that just ain't so that is our greatest obstacle.
It's a wise man who profits by his own experience, but it's a good deal wiser one who lets the rattlesnake bite the other fellow.
Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed; the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine.
When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.
Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.
The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted; the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
The easiest thing for our friends to discover in us, and the hardest thing for us to discover in ourselves, is that we are growing old.
My advice to those who are about to begin, in earnest, the journey of life, is to take their heart in one hand and a club in the other.
There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.
I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows, they live on what has been killed for them.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu git thewuss tha wurk.
Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.
Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom; but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
Men are seldom underrated; the mercury in a man finds its true level in the eyes of the world just as certainly as it does in the glass of a thermometer.
Contentment is a kind of moral laziness; if there wasn't anything but contentment in his world, man wouldn't be any more of a success than an angleworm is
The lion and the lamb may, possibly, sumtime lay down in this world together for a fu minnits, but when the lion kums tew git up, the lamb will be missing.
Dangers are sum like a kold bath, very dangerous while you stand stripped on the bank, but often not only harmless, but invigorating, if you pitch into them.
As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well.
It iz comparitively eazy tew repent ov the sins that we hav committed, but tew repent ov thoze which we intend to commit, is asking tew mutch ov enny man, now days.
Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.
Common sense is an instinct given to man and enough of it is genius. Smartness is measured by the level of common sense one has, not by how much educated or knowledgeable he is.
What is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul I suppose this depends somewhat upon the size of the soul. I think there are cases where the trade would do.
If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.
As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.
Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.
Taking from others never results in prosperity. If we steal from others, life will steal from us. There is an incredible abundance on this planet. True prosperity begins with feeling good about yourself and about the choices you make. Life is here for us. Life is here to support us in every way. We give out, we get back. Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.