Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
The man who gets bit twice by the same dog is better adapted for that kind of business than any other.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it.
It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven
Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.
Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.
There is a sort of charm in ugliness, if the person has some redeeming qualities and is only ugly enough.
Pedigrees seldom improve by age; the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer.
Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.
The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of; and that is judgment.
It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge a elephant, but we can't dodge a fly.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
Titles are valuable; they make us acquainted with many persons who otherwise would be lost among the rubbish.
Take the selfishness out of this world and there would be more happiness than we should know what to do with.
If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.
The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.
Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain; but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.
Silence is said to be golden, but the best fools the world has ever produced had nothing to say on the subject
It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.
Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.
The hardest thing any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it's slippery, and get up and praise the Lord.
Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.
Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do.
In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.
Plenty of folks are so contrary that if they should fall into the river, they would insist upon floating upstream.
I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.
Waves are inspiring not because they rise and fail, but because each time they fall. They never fail to rise again.
The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition.
...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to Sell.
What the world wants iz [sic] good examples, not so mutch advice; advice may be wrong, but examples prove themselves.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.
Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.
Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that gets the grease.
Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up.
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it.