Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
If you're not sure you could love your children, please don't have them, because they might grow up and kill us.
I think [parents] became very proud, even though they were mortified by the early films because no one liked them.
If you can make someone laugh who's dead set against you, that's the first step to winning them over to your side.
You see a kid making a film on a cell phone. He doesn't know what he's doing either. But it comes out kind of good.
How come there's no terrorism with humor, which is a great way to humiliate your enemy? It's a great time for that.
I could never kill myself. I approve of suicide if you have horrible health. Otherwise it's the ultimate hissy fit.
I make independent movies. I don't know how to do anything else. I don't know any other job that I could really get.
Humor is how you change people's opinions, and if you can make someone laugh, they'll listen, even if they hate you.
I don't like heroin, unless you're a jazz musician and then you have to be on it because jazz is the sound of heroin.
The only time I had a normal boyfriend was during the time of AIDS, so maybe that saved me. It's certainly not karma.
Stop blaming your parents. If you're really angry at 60 years old, you're an idiot! You've got to work some of it out.
To me, the most important thing is the script. I would never make a movie that I didn't write. I wouldn't know how to.
I keep on having ideas and developments. Some happen and some don't, but I still always have a way of telling a story.
I don't like rules of any kind. And I seek people who break rules with happiness - and not bringing pain to themselves.
My mother was Catholic, my father not. I went to Catholic high school. Every form of education failed me. I was trouble.
My early films look terrible! I didn't know what I was doing. I learned when I was doing it. I never went to film school.
The only way I've learned to change anyone's mind politically is to make them laugh. My whole career has been about that.
My father was horrified by my movies, yet he lent me the money to make the early ones. And I paid him back with interest.
I believe if you come out of a movie and the first thing you say is, 'The cinematography was beautiful,' it's a bad movie.
I think I technically learned some things, hopefully. But I go to the movies for characters and story and a berserk vision.
I'd rather have a daughter in a whorehouse than a son in the police force,' Esther used to rage to anyone who would listen.
I can make a movie for $5M, which used to be a routinely low, independent movie, but there's no such thing as that any more.
It delights me to find something that kids are doing that surprises me that seems new. That's the best feeling you can have.
Time marches on and I don't care how people watch my movies as long as they see them. I don't care if they're on their phone.
So many great people are dead, and so many assholes I know are still alive. Karma's bullshit. I wish it was true, but it ain't.
I have no interest in cars. I have a plain, used Buick. I could run over 10 people, and you wouldn't be able to describe my car.
I think that nobody gets mad at me anymore, no matter what I say, because I don't think I'm mean. I am interested in what's next.
I couch-surfed for years. But I always wanted to live in Baltimore; I still do. If I had to choose, it would always be Baltimore.
If you ever go home with somebody and they don't have books in their house, don't sleep with them. I think that's very important.
"How could you think of such awful things?" liberal critics always ask. "How else could I possibly amuse myself?" I always wonder.
I'm not a separatist, I'm friends with some people who voted for Trump, not many. Nobody has the nerve to tell me, but a few have.
Being a traditionalist, I'm a rabid sucker for Christmas. In July, I'm already worried that there are only 146 shopping days left.
I'm sick of '60s nostalgia. I've been to clubs in New York where it's just like the Fillmore East. And I thought I hated that then.
I've been arrested several times. I've been known to dress in ludicrous fashions. I've also built a career out of negative reviews.
William Castle and Alfred Hitchcock were the first director-personalities. Before then, nobody in America knew what a director was.
I live in San Francisco, I live in Provincetown. They're all the same, apart from Baltimore. Baltimore's the only cheap place left.
When I started making movies about weird people, I knew they were weird, I was infected with irony, and I wanted New York to notice.
I don't trust anyone that hasn't been to jail at least once in their life. You should have been, or something's the matter with you.
Do we secretly idolize our imagined opposites, yearning to become the role models for others we know we could never be for ourselves?
I'll have pot in my home for guests - I'm polite! - but I don't sit around and smoke by myself, ever. Not like I did when I was young.
Liberal censors are the worst. I don't remember any trouble with 'Serial Mom' or 'Cecil B. Demented' or any of them. Except 'Cry Baby.'
When I was young, there were bars called the 'Hungry Hole,' and in those same neighbourhoods are now gay people pushing baby carriages.
I understand why people want to look up their friends - usually they want to see what people they've wanted to have sex with look like.
To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct.
Fame is protection if you go to a scary place. Fame is fun. A lot of people don't say anything and you don't know they know who you are.
Grade school ruined reading for me by demanding book reports for such snore-a-thons as Benjamin Franklin's biography written for children.
If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.
My idea of an interesting person is someone who is quite proud of their seemingly abnormal life and turns their disadvantage into a career.
My main residence is Baltimore. I have an apartment in New York, one in San Francisco, and I live in a rental in Provincetown in the summer.
I like to cook for myself or others, so I cook. I always read at night. Sometimes I go to the movies. I don't go out wildly during the week.