Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I operate off of fear almost exclusively.
On 'The Soup,' we were never a political show.
I like anything with Zak Bagans and ghost hunters.
I used humor as survival, as a weapon and as comfort.
Joel McHale is so money, he should be printed on money.
I like 'American Idol' because it's an actual talent contest.
I think we are as screwed as a culture as we are saved as a culture.
If you have a dream, just lie about it. Lie your way unto your dreams.
All I care about is making jokes that are funny and making people laugh.
'Maury' and 'Jerry Springer' get so theatrical that it's hard to believe.
Follow what your head is telling you and work hard. That's the big secret.
I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies.
The #MeToo movement is insanely serious, and there's no comedy to be mined out of that.
I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy.
Acting is what I'd always wanted to do; hosting 'The Soup' was more because of Greg Kinnear.
You have to have talent. You have to get the audition and then you have to nail the audition.
I love performing, and it allows me to be very discerning about what I choose next, thank god.
Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly and Sean Hannity are the Mount Rushmore of keeping old people angry.
It's pretty difficult to promote something the week after Christmas and the week before New Year's.
I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you're playing.
Once you've been booked, people in Hollywood say, 'Oh he must be good.' All the while you're the same actor.
Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy.
I used comedy as a way to combat my dyslexia. I was barely getting by scholastically, so I used a lot of humor.
E! didn't like it when we'd make fun of clips from ESPN - they'd be like, 'That's sports! That's not our audience!'
When E! ended the show, it wasn't because it was low-rated. It was because E! did not want to pay union rerun dues.
When I started 'The Soup' back in 2004, I was so anxious because I can't really read, and I had to read teleprompter.
I always excelled in sports, so I knew I had advantages there. That really gave me, like, confidence and self-esteem.
Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent.
My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of having fame.
I knew I was good at sports, and I knew I loved acting and performing, so I really dove into that, and school always became secondary.
It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make it up as you go along.
If you become famous and you start making money, then people want to give you things. It's the exact opposite of how it's supposed to be.
People have always said since TV was invented what a cultural wasteland it is but I think it is the worst and the best. It is the golden age of television.
In prison, inmates sometimes use Cheetos and grape juice as makeup. I wouldn't use that beauty regimen around Britney Spears - she might lick your face off!
My children do not know what it's like to flip around channels. They either go to Netflix, Apple TV, or they pull up YouTube, and they can watch their shows.
I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right after school. Isn't that great?
The editors and the creators of 'The Bachelor' and 'The Bachelorette,' they are so good at casting and at finding these young, beautiful lunatics to go on the show.
One of my favorite things being on movies is that when you're working, it's the best thing that's ever happened, and then in the downtime, you socialize and go to dinner.
With 'The Soup,' obviously it has to be totally scripted out, and then, within that, I improvise punchlines and sometimes setups if I can't read the teleprompter properly.
It's important to have the right agent - people that are working hard for you. But an actor needs to be in control of their career no matter how good the representation is.
I've always been very opinionated, for lack of a better term, about art. Not to sound too arrogant, but I guess I'm a connoisseur of telling people what I think is good and bad.
I have always survived with comedy, in that I grew up very dyslexic and did not get good grades. I always thought I was dumb, and there are many people out there that would agree
I knew I wanted to be an actor. I just kept saying, "Until somebody tells me to stop, until I have to go get a real job, and until I'm practically homeless, I'm not gonna get one."
I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone will say, now go to your real job, shoveling poop somewhere.
I couldn't read the way that other students read, so I would just cheat, which, in my silly brain, I was like, 'This is a skill that I'm developing - how to just get around everything!'
When you are an actor or trying to be a working actor in L.A., most people have commercial agents, and then they have legitimate agents, and you just end up going on a thousand auditions.
I don't feel any pressure to joke about #MeToo - in fact, I'd say you shouldn't, because it's a great movement that is exposing some really awful behavior and hopefully changing the culture.
'Big Brother,' I can't believe people watch. It's just people whispering to each other for hours and then some silly challenge like, who can pull the most stones out of a stuffed alligator, with some product tie-in.
Hours is an understatement. I honestly don't know how the director and editor decide each week what actually makes it on the air. There's of course director and cast commentary on each episode on the DVD. We had a blast recording that.
I wanted to play football and see how that went. In my mind, I knew I wasn't good enough to be a pro, but I was having a really fun time doing it. When you're on a college team, you can tell who's going to be a pro or not almost instantly.