Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Choose To Be Inspired.
Be the hero of your own story.
Houston Alexander is for real!
People love to see people fall.
You could smell my ass from mars.
A unicorn is a donkey from the future
People for the most part can smell lies.
I love existing in pre big bang conditions.
I do cagefight commentary in my spare time.
Omigawa is moving forward like a karate robot
You can't measure what's inside a man's heart.
Like any tool [drugs] can help you or hurt you.
I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.
The Universe rewards calculated risk and passion
People are scared man, they're scared of the void.
There's a never-ending ocean of techniques out there.
I never want to compromise my act just to get a laugh.
It's a very strange thing when you make nature illegal.
Someone else's success does not equal a failure for you.
I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
If Tyson Griffin was a girl, I'd say he has a badonkadonk.
I like LA because it has a giant supply of great comedians.
The best way to pursue any discipline is the martial art way.
Excellence in anything increases your potential in everything.
To really appreciate life you got to know you're going to die.
If you haven't peed the bed, you haven't taken enough chances.
If the world was an etch-a-sketch, glaciers are the big shake.
Martial arts are a vehicle for developing your human potential.
Live your life like you're the hero in your movie and right now.
If life wasn't real it would be the craziest psychedelic trip ever
If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
When women go to see men strip, we never accuse you of hating men.
But it's hard for a chick to do comedy. It's not as open for them.
Aspire to be the man you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid.
People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.
Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of unfixable bullshit.
I really feel like it's a travesty to make a child famous. I really do.
There's a direct correlation between positive energy and positive results.
If you're dumb enough to do crack, you're supposed to die. It's evolution.
We live in a society that makes it really easy for these pussies to get by.
Jiu-Jitsu has been one of the most valuable tools I've ever had in my life.
Never stay in a bad marriage, and don't hang around with psycho coke fiends.
I want to talk about the nature of human beings or how we're evolving as a race.
I think it would do a lot of people good just to realize how vulnerable they are.
No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend.
People do always try to smoke pot with me. But I think some of those people are cops.
Maybe we can combine 2 things that everybody loves. Helping out the poor and blow jobs.
You're just part of the soup of the universe, so just try to enjoy what's good about it.
By putting yourself in that intense form of stress, it makes regular life more peaceful.
If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they're brooding all the time.