Quotes by Joe Bob Briggs - Page 1 | QuoteForever

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It's not a crime to get drunk.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Crime
Drunk
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Faith is like a kernel of wheat.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Kernel
Wheat
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Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Discourse
Fleeting
Forever
Junk
Mail
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I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Male Chauvinist
Males
Male
Otherwise
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Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Cells
Hate
Phones
Apparently
Cell
Cell Phones
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In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Bourgeois
In Other Words
Suburban
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Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Men
Clubs
Tradition
Venerable
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A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Dictator
Instruments
Third World
World
Dictators
Draft
Instrument
Third
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The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Break Up
Smile
Allies
Fighting
Grandmother
Ally
Breaking
Breaking Up
Street
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There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
End Times
Ends
Posts
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You're not a real Texan till you've been kicked out of every decent state in America.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
America
Real
States
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As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Teen
America
Class
Oppressed
Said
Single
Teenager
Now
Times
Right
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Speaking of things that'll make your head explode, "Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story" finally made it to the drive-in
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Dragons
Made
Stories
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If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Travel
Hate
Sex
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If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it 'romance and adventure.'
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Adventure
Romance
Sex
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I made the mistake of watching "A.I." on cable the week they showed it about 792 times, and I ended up watching it every time it was on.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Made
Mistake
Week
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Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum of ground action.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
War
Air
Bosnia
Fighting
High Level
Minimum
Precision
Strikes
Bare
Clark
Proved
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In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse during the intermissions.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Europe
Long
People
Uncommon
Converse
Theaters
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The fifties were when people started coming down on "juvenile delinquents," "hoodlums," "vandals"--anybody that was young, wore a motorcycle jacket, and didn't act polite around older people.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Motorcycle
People
Young
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The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something so that the vino was never more than ten bucks a bottle.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Running
Bucks
Friendly
Guy
Hats
Impression
Ten
Wine
Family Good Always
Bottle
Italians
Slaves
Straw
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SURE-FIRE SINGLES AD: Famous Writer needs woman to organize his life and spend his money. Loves to turn off Sunday football and go to the Botanical Gardens with that special someone. Will obtain plastic surgery if necessary.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Football
Garden
Sunday
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The movies that are honored at The Oscars are always a certain type: Old-fashioned. It's a bunch of well-made, old-fashioned movies that support our idea of ourselves. They uplift the human spirit. That's why horror films never even get nominated.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Uplifting
Horror
Spirit
Support
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I love Martin Scorsese, but there's another indication of what The Oscars are all about. They've ignored Martin Scorsese for going on 35 years now, and I wouldn't be surprised if they passed him over again. He'll get one of The Oscars they give you at the end of your life because they feel guilty for never giving you an Oscar.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Giving
Guilty
Ignored
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They'll give you an Oscar if they think you're about to drop dead. The problem with The Oscars is, the average age of The Academy is 84. They wheel those people in from Palm Springs and hook up their IVs and they vote. The people that go to movies are under the age of 28, for the most part, so there's this total disconnect between what the Academy thinks is a great movie and what the audience actually wants to see.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
People
Spring
Thinking
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I hate The Oscars. The Oscars make me want to throw things at the TV. In the ancient history of The Oscars, people would go on and make political statements and get thrown off the stage, but the last great political statement, I think, was when Michael Moore started raging against Bush a few years back. Everybody booed him, even though I can't imagine Hollywood booing a guy who's bashing Bush. That was the last great spontaneous moment on The Oscars.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Hate
People
Thinking
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I always remind people why The Oscars got started in 1928: It was an effort by the studios to suppress the unions. They started the Academy because all the screenwriters and directors and actors were unionizing, and they thought, "We'll have something that resembles a union, but that's completely controlled by the moneyed interests in Hollywood." That's what it's been all these years. It's something that reinforces Hollywood's image of itself. The Best Picture one year was Gandhi. Nobody watched Gandhi, but that's the kind of picture that always wins.
Joe Bob Briggs / Film Critic
Effort
People
Winning
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