I am just too much.

Be afraid of nothing.

My tears speak for me.

Choose your clothes for your way of life.

Dammit, don't you dare ask God to help me!

Sensitive husbands don't like second billing.

Life deals from the bottom, sometimes, doesn't it?

If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend!

Care for your clothes, like the good friends they are

Sure, I'd play an ape if they asked me. Maurice Evans did.

Learn to breathe, learn to speak, but first... learn to feel.

Find your happiest colours - the ones that make you feel good.

I need sex for a clear complexion, but I'd rather do it for love.

It has been said that on screen I personified the American woman.

If I can't be me, I don't want to be anybody. I was born that way.

I was born in front of a camera and really don't know anything else

Check out the very best of Hollywood jokes that will make you laugh

I was born in front of a camera and really don't know anything else.

I, Joan Crawford, I believe in the dollar. Everything I earn, I spend.

I have always known what I wanted, and that was beauty... in every form.

Hollywood is like life, you face it with the sum total of your equipment.

If you throw a lamb chop in the oven, what's to keep it from getting done?

Not that anyone cares, but there's a right and wrong way to clean a house.

My God, I'm four hundred years old and the most I can do is look three hundred.

If you have an ounce of common sense and one good friend you don't need an analyst.

Send me flowers while I'm alive. They won't do me a damn bit of good after I'm dead.

Make your wardrobe as versatile as an actress. It should be able to play many roles.

Any actress who appears in public without being well-groomed is digging her own grave.

There's nothing wrong with my tits, but I don't go around throwing them in people's faces!

You have to be self-reliant and strong to survive in this town. Otherwise you will be destroyed.

Well, we can skip childhood because I didn't have any. Not one goddam moment on the Good Ship Lollipop.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

I think that the most important thing a woman can have - next to talent, of course - is her hairdresser.

I was a strict disciplinarian, perhaps too strict at times, but my God, without discipline what is life?

I'd like to think every director I've worked with has fallen in love with me, I know Dorothy Arzner did.

Women's Lib? Poor little things. They always look so unhappy. Have you noticed how bitter their faces are?

all that time hanging around the sets, watching Norma Shearer make the most of her three expressions, was a help.

I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.

Of all the actresses ... to me, only Faye Dunaway has the talent and the class and the courage it takes to make a real star.

If I weren't a Christian Scientist, and I saw "Trog" advertised on a marquee across the street, I'd think I'd contemplate suicide.

It is my intention to make no provision herein for my son Christopher or my daughter Christina for reasons which are well known to them.

I remember most clearly when a teenage Christopher spat in my face. He said, "I hate you". It's pretty hard to overlook that. I couldn't.

There was a saying around MGM: "Norma Shearer got the productions, Greta Garbo supplied the art, and Joan Crawford made the money to pay for both".

Nobody can imitate me. You can always see impersonations of Katharine Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe. But not me. Because I've always drawn on myself only.

Mr. Cukor is a hard task-master, a fine director and he took me over the coals giving me the roughest time I have ever had. And I am eternally grateful.

[To the mother of two unruly children in a restaurant after the woman said she really didn't know what to do with her children:] Have you tried infanticide?

I absolutely will not allow anyone to call me grandmother. They can call me Auntie Joan, Dee-Dee, Cho-Cho, anything but grandmother. It pushes a woman almost to the grave.

If you've earned a position, be proud of it. Don't hide it. I want to be recognized. When I hear people say, 'There's Joan Crawford!' I turn around and say, 'Hi! How are you!'

Recently I heard a 'wise guy' story that I had a party at my home for twenty-five men. It's an interesting story, but I don't know twenty-five men I'd want to invite ta a party.

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