Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I like to shock people.
People can forgive each other.
I thought I was funny as a kid.
Men are fantastic - as a concept.
I'm a real Kentish maid, you know.
I've never been a fan of euphemism.
I look like Julian Clary on steroids.
Wild men are so enormously attractive.
I just don't like travelling very much.
Anything is good if it's made of chocolate.
Let's face it: I am not a professional runner.
Madness isn't altogether a bad thing in comedy.
I don't hold any candle for drama versus comedy.
Even nice things don't make you happy when you're tired.
I'd love to live in Kent but it's all a question of work.
Punk allowed women to stop looking feminine. Oh, the relief.
Each generation has a backlash against the generation before.
Whatever situation you are in, that is what is normal for you.
I don't like doing stand-up, because I don't like standing up.
I've no interest in fashion, shoes, handbags, or sweaty shopping.
What could be funnier than a fat person trying to run a marathon?
It's very difficult to learn not to take nasty heckles personally.
When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.
When you have children your house smells very unpleasant all the time.
It's got too much hard work slapping them and telling them to shut up.
When you have children, your house smells very unpleasant all the time.
The way to a man's heart is through his hanky pocket with a breadknife.
Privatisation splits hospital services into increasingly small packages.
I think some people ramp a side of themselves up for performance purposes.
I am a hip-hop artist, as you probably know. My hip-hop name is Big Smalls.
I'm not really a churchy person, although I do think Jesus was a good bloke.
Having children is fab. They keep me young and make me get up in the morning.
The comedian sticks as religiously to her theme as a dancer sticks to a diet.
It wasn't a conscious effort to have kids later. It was just the way life goes.
When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.
I'm a Luddite with computers, and I'm slightly worried about being hacked as well.
I've been breastfeeding for two years. I could light the gas ring with my nipples.
You look across the board at comedy quiz shows, and they are mainly hosted by men.
I must be an anorexic because an anorexic looks in the mirror and sees a fat person.
Fat people are brilliant in bed. If I'm sitting on top of you, who's going to argue?
One thing Christians do have in common is that they can't help coming across as smug.
My doctor told me I should get out of breath three times a week, so I took up smoking.
I never ever take into consideration the consequences of my actions until it's too late.
I read that book Fat is a Feminist issue, got a bit desperate halfway through and ate it.
To me, a politician's job is to listen to constituents' problems and try to sort them out.
Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out - They've just eaten them.
I read that book 'Fat is a Feminist Issue', got a bit desperate halfway through and ate it.
My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.
I think self-esteem is fluid. It's not a fixed state, and so some days are better than others.
It's actually very hard when you're settled in one place to completely uproot yourself and go.