Quotes by Jim Davidson - Page 1 | QuoteForever

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I took the wife out last night; one punch!
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Lasts
Night
Wife
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Always say no to drugs. It will drive the prices down.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Drug
Say No To Drugs
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People who do stupid things with hazardous materials often die.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Materials
People
Stupid
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I don't believe in predestined fate. The future is what we choose to create.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Believe
Don't Believe
Fate
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Scientists have discovered a food that reduces a woman's sex drive by 99%. Wedding cake.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Cake
Scientist
Sex
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When we have an item that has value to the school and the athletic department, we cannot throw it away just to be fair.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Athletic
Department
School
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On quiet nights, when I'm alone, I like to run our wedding video backwards, just to watch myself walk out of the church a free man.
Jim Davidson / Comedian
Running
Funny Love
Night
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