Quotes by Jeff Stilson - Page 1 | QuoteForever

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I'm not married. I hope to be someday so I can stop exercising.
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Marriage
Exercise
Married
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Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Jesus
Hate
Team
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There's only one thing that separates us from animals: We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Animal
Cleaners
Vacuums
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Women are more verbal than men. That's why when you see an elderly couple together, it's always the man who has the hearing aid.
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Men
Couple
Elderly
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I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet.That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Funny
Men
Animal
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I don't watch football anymore, I gave that up. I got tired of the interviews after the games, because the winning players always give credit to God, and the losers blame themselves. You know, just once I'd like to hear a player say, 'Yeah, we were in the game, until Jesus made me fumble. He hates our team.'
Jeff Stilson / Comedian
Jesus
Football
Hate
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