Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
You might be a redneck if you own all the components of soap on a rope except the soap.
You might be a redneck if a full-grown ostrich has fewer feathers than your cowboy hat.
You might be a redneck if you look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right
You just may be a redneck if your lawn furniture used to be your living room furniture.
You might be a redneck if the best way to keep things cold is to leave'em in the shade.
You might be a redneck if you wish your outhouse was as nice as those at the state park.
You might be a redneck if the antenna on your truck is a danger to low flying airplanes.
I never thought I would do a game show, but now I guess I'm now officially in that genre.
You might be a redneck if your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
You might be a redneck if you need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.
I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.
You might be a redneck if you saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.
You might be a redneck if you have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if the receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.
You might be a redneck if you can amuse yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.
It seems like movies that have heart to them always do well, and they find their audience.
You might be a redneck if you have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.
You might be a redneck if your Momma would rather go the racetrack than the Kennedy Center.
You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
You might be a redneck if you've ever worn a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't.
As a comic, you learn to use your voice because you don't have the benefit of visual things.
If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.
You might be a redneck if you think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just misunderstood.
You might be a redneck if the dog catcher calls for a backup unit when he visits your house.
If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married.
If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck
You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
You might be a redneck if your vehicle has a two-tone paint job - primer red and primer gray.
I actually had a chance to be in Delta Farce, but I couldn't do it because I read the script.
Sacrificing myself to kill Hilary Clinton was the best thing I could possibly do for humanity
You might be a redneck if your 'huntin dog' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
You might be a redneck if there are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog.
If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your parties is when you flip out your false teeth.
You might be a redneck if you have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
You might be a redneck if you consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.
By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family.
You might be a redneck if your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days.
You might be a redneck if your momma gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events.
You might be a redneck if you grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.
Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.
You might be a redneck if...you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.
When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain.
The biggest thing I've learned is to listen to my own gut. I have learned to trust my instincts.
You might be a redneck if the hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car.
You might be a redneck if...you've been on TV more than times describing the sound of a tornado.
You might be a redneck if you think people that send out graduation announcements are show-offs.