Janet Evanovich Quotes - Page 3

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I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.

I had done 12 little romance books, and I decided I wanted to move into crime fiction.

This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.

I don't think his elevator went all the way to the top anymore, if you know what I mean

Stephanie, I'm begging you. Eat some doughnuts. I can't keep going like this." - Morelli

What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?" Helen Plum

Are you telling me your brain and your lady parts decided on a love fest bake-off winner?

I don't know if it's a good idea to give a woman a box of bullets when she's got a pimple.

Everyone knows that if you buy chocolate with spare change, then the calories don't count.

I don't need shoes. I need a night scope. You think they sell night scopes someplace here?

I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.

My body is not designed to run. My body was designed to sit in an expensive care and drive.

I really wouldn't classify the books as mysteries. I prefer to say that they're adventures.

The note wasn't signed, but I could tell it was from Morelli by the way my nipples got hard.

I'm for sure a workaholic. I'm a complete control freak and I take on way too many projects.

I think I'm a pretty average person, and I respond to positive things, so I write for myself.

Maybe your pregnant. Oops, hold on, you're not pregnant, on account of you're not gettin any.

I'm so busy writing and editing two books a year that I don't have time for painting anymore.

I make lots of mistakes. I try hard not to make the same mistake more than three or four times.

Howie's doctor told him to lose ten pounds, and since Howie's been on a diet he's gained three.

That's one of the things I like about Mary Lou. She's willing to believe the worst about anyone.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I think money isn't any good sitting around, so I spend some time in the shoe department at Saks.

As writers, we all have an agenda, but if you recognize that agenda in a book, then you've failed.

Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert.

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

As long as he has a house with two bathrooms. I swear to God, I don't care if he's Jack the Ripper.

Truth is, I'm a good Catholic girl. The faith has always been elusive, but the guilt is intractable.

When people ask what you do, tell them you're a writer. Put yourself on the line. Make a commitment.

There's me and then there's you, and you aren't ever going to be as good as me, Sweet Thing." Ranger

And something chocolate, of course. A meal was not a meal without some sort of chocolate for desert.

There's just so much craziness out there in the world; it's like I couldn't fit them all in my books.

You don't even need to go to college no more because you could learn how to do everything on YouTube.

Looks like you're on a roll. This is the second car you've toasted this week." Carl Costanza - Hot Six

It was dark and raining, with bad visibility, but this was Jersey, and we don't slow down for anything.

Suppose I lay down on the pavement and you run over me a few times with my own car...just for old times.

It wasn't exactly that Lula was fat. It was more that she was too short for her weight." - Stephanie Plum

It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive." "Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.

He specializes in virgins! The brush of his fingertips turns virgins into slobbering mush." Mary Lou Molnar

Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.

I could use some help with an FTA. What's your problem? He's old, and I'll look like a loser if I shoot him.

You're going to find this hard to believe, but cops aren't required to carry emergency condoms." Joe Morelli

How many times have I told you not to hit people in the face. You kick them in the body where it doesn't show.

I have people I love and trust on my team. And I'm lucky my family is incredibly talented in a variety of ways.

Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.

A woman's never too old to make an idiot of herself. It goes along with equality of the sexes and potty parity.

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli

I see you looking at my cookies,' my father said to Morelli. 'Don't even think about it. Go get your own cookies.

Turns out, that's how it is with weddings. You just keep getting in deeper and deeper until you want to throw up.

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