Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

For my stand-up, I always have my notebook with me and if something strikes me, I'll write it down.

I don't think Hollywood was trying to do anything with me. In fact, they lost interest pretty quick.

No no no! Don't clap! No no no, you make me seem like I'm like a prophet or something and I'm so not!

A war is going to destroy our economy even further. It's going to be a threefold humanitarian disaster.

Sage advice? If you're drunk, stay away from the phone. You can't get the answering machine message back.

Historically the mainstream media has never been particularly friendly to any socially progressive ideas.

Boy, does that give you street cred for years after, if you tell people you were on 'The Larry Sanders Show!'

I am not a person that is particularly tethered to fashion, which I think is obvious to anyone who's seen me.

My dream would be to be on a show that shoots in New York, because I live here, and then I could walk to work.

There is no way any rational, reasonable person can say that the Bush Administration has been good for America.

I love a nice cooking show. It's as aesthetically pleasing as any other thing that tempts the senses, I suppose.

I've seen other comics, with great pleasure, watching their own specials, and I don't know how or why they do it.

Sometimes I am very pleased with lifestyle and sometimes I feel utterly worthless because I have so few interests.

The handful of corporations that own most of the media outlets have an interest in reflecting establishment views.

I mostly get takeout, I have to admit - I don't know if that's something to be ashamed of. I'm not much of a cook.

You know, I have no web presence, and I don't know that there's many people who really do know me that much anymore.

I would say just in general, in life, I'm more willing to be animated as a person, and so obviously onstage as well.

Irrational crushes, infatuations, or obsessions. Whatever you want to label it, it's important to reach out to others.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

If you aren't overly effusive or really nicey-nice with the press, you get a reputation for being outspoken or difficult.

Sometimes the critics review me harshly for not being critical of government but it's not me who has said I was political.

I don't know that I would need to be famous as a Middle East policy expert to see that unilateral imperialism is bad policy.

I actually was class clown, but I don't know how that happened because I've never been considered an outwardly funny person.

Leaving your ears open to the suggestions of others only closes the mind's eye, thereby creating a type of spiritual glaucoma.

Tina Fey is part of a generation of women who have changed the face of comedy at 'Second City,' 'SNL,' in sitcoms and in film.

As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.

I feel like the American people are being lied to and manipulated. President Bush is trying to force 9/11 and Saddam together.

How is it that this debate has been twisted on its head, that somehow those that advocate peace and diplomacy are anti-American?

When Communist U.S.S.R. was a superpower, the world was better off. The right-wing media is trying to marginalize the peace movement.

For some reason I get advertised when I travel as a political comedian, which I'm not. Sometimes I talk about it and sometimes I don't.

Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.

I'm a walker. I enjoy walking, which I think psychologically expresses my feelings of wanting liberation without exerting myself too much.

You just need an opportunity and then you yourself have to do a good job, and then you hope that people go, 'Oh yeah, I forgot about her.'

Every year my family would pile into the car for our vacation and drive 80 trillion miles just to prove we couldn't get along in any setting.

To combat social awkwardness, I would just act like I couldn't be bothered - that kind of aloof persona or aloof demeanor. It's so off-putting.

I don't hate myself, as a general rule. I'd say the best way to describe it is that I have moments of self-loathing at fairly regular intervals.

You young people with your twittering and your creating of content. Or what is it - queefing? I don't know what you young people are calling it.

I say at this point, for different reasons, Bush and Hussein are both very threatening to world peace and to deny that is to be incredibly naive.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

The media is supposed to be custodians of the facts and watchdogs of government. They have, for the most part, neglected to be either of those things.

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.

I don't understand why, in entertainment, the hours are as long as they are. It seems like everything takes forever, and no one can tell you why exactly.

Also, as I've gotten older and more mature, I've become much more comfortable in my own skin. After 25 years of doing stand-up, that's reflected onstage.

I think I failed miserably on NewsRadio. I was very nervous because of the caliber of the cast - especially Dave Foley - so I think I did a terrible job.

I truly believe a woman's weight is a political issue, and if one young woman out there can see me and not feel crummy about herself, that's a good thing.

A lot of the hate mail I get is clearly misogynist. I am a proud liberal, feminist woman, and the hate mail I get about those three things is not about me.

You know, there's nothing more interesting than seeing a bunch of racists become confused and angry at a speech they're not quite certain what he's saying.

Until as women we all say, No! We are not going to starve ourselves, nothing is going to change. We're our own worse enemies sometimes but I still blame men.

I can do most anything and not have a problem with it. The only time I have negative attention is when I run naked through the streets brandishing a handgun.

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