Quotes by Jackie Gleason - Page 1

How sweet it is!
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Life
Sweet
How
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I always knew what I was doing.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
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The worst thing you can do with money is save it.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Can Do
Worst
Worst Things
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The best part of you ran down your mother's legs.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Legs
Mother
Sarcastic
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I drink for the honorable purpose of getting bagged.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Drink
Honorable
Purpose
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Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Funny
Adorable
Beautiful
Inspiration
Fat
Thin
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I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Bullets
Made
Week
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Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Girl
Fake
Passion
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Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Doe
God Has A Sense Of Humor
Sense Of Humor
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The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Beach
Miami
World
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I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Children
Determined
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One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Honeymooners
Pow
These Days
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A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Home
Men
Children
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Modesty is the artifice of actors, similar to passion in call girls.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Girl
Passion
Sarcastic
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I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Humility
Talent
Use
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Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Drink
Forget
Remember
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Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Drinking
Looks
Pimples
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The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Glasses
Scotch
Song
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The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Funny
Inspiring
Diet
Food
Humor
Easier
First
Day
Off
Second
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Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Feelings
Joy
Life Is Great
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Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Marriage
Husband
Thinking
Wife
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I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Alcoholics
Differences
Meetings
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It is difficult for people to appreciate their own laughter unless you show them some pathos along the way.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Appreciate
Laughter
People
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A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Challenges
People
Tough
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Golf and women are a lot alike. You know you are not going to wind up with anything but grief, but you can't resist the impulse.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Golf
Grief
Wind
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Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Deer
Golf
Play
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I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possible.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Inspirational
Mean
Philosophy
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If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Wisdom
Wise
Thinking
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I knew that nobody could be on television week after week as themselves and exist for any length of time, because no one has that rich a personality.... So I knew that I had to create some characters.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Character
Personality
Television
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Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we partake of the power of the Spirit, the infinite Godhead that creates the cosmos.
Jackie Gleason / Comedian
Dream
Capacity
Cosmos
Creativity
Infinite
Our Dreams
Waking
Waking Life
Dreaming
Creates
Firsthand
Godhead
Least
Partake
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Jackie Gleason Quotes - Page 1

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