Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am beloved by millions.
I'm always on the verge of death in my head.
My point of reference is life, in everything that I do.
I have an insatiable desire to be the center of attention.
I'm a huge fan of mine. I go to just about every show I do.
People who annoy people are the luckiest people in the world.
The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.
You can go home with a lot of money with absolutely no skill.
You release these things, and if they fly then you have more.
I think being a dad is scary. I mean, I'm not that grown-up myself.
Diana Ross saw me on Merv Griffin and hired me to be her opening act.
There's no skill. You can be a rock and move into another tax bracket.
There's no skill. You can be a rock and move into another cash bracket.
If we take care of our mental health like our dental health; we'll be ok.
I've decided to get into shape, and the shape I've selected is a triangle.
I've spent more time in Las Vegas than any other city, almost including L.A. where I live.
I think the solution to making this world better is if we would just be healthy, mentally.
My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger.
I know intellectually that if I shake somebody's hand that I'm not going to get sick and die.
We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience.
I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.
Unlike 'Deal or No Deal,' which is for the entire family, my standup is not for the entire family.
My childlike qualities sometimes lead me to jump into projects without thinking of the consequences.
If you come to any of my live shows, you'll see, it's very frenetic. I have the attention span of a gnat.
If I'm a game show host, will someone buy a ticket to see me do standup? To do a dramatic role in a movie?
After being on the road so much I want to spend more time with my family, who I hear are wonderful people.
My wife doesn't cook, so we eat out every night. It's not fine dining or anything - we're not fancy people.
Part of my humor is the fact that I love coming out of left field. I don't want people to expect what is going to happen next.
Bobby's World touched a lot of people. That's why the family's last name is Generic. Uncle Ted is based on uncles we've all had.
Now I have new stories and I feel refreshed. There is talk of Bobby's World eventually coming back. I would be happy to do that.
I needed time to stand back and go through a lot more experience in life. Then I have something to write about, joke or to animate.
I've had people come up to me, as home viewers, and tell me they were screaming at the TV, yelling at each other, yelling at the contestants.
I have to be the only person in America who had a doctor say to him, 'Please don't put any more surgical gloves on your head and inflate them.'
When I went into Bobby's World, I had no idea it would be a success. I had been doing the Bobby voice as part of my nightclub adult act for years.
Most of my act is improvisation. I'm inspired for the moment. Standing there in front of 2,000 or 3,000 people you don't know can be pretty inspiring.
The biggest void that people can have in their lives is a sense of humor. Spending your life with someone who doesn't have that wouldn't be palatable.
If I'm a game show host, will someone buy a ticket to see me do standup? If I'm a game show host, will I get an offer to do a dramatic role in a movie?
Everything runs its course. We had told a lot of stories that happened in our life. My kid was getting older, and we were running out of stories to tell.
I don't know if I'm teaching my kids right, but you have to go with your own instincts. You can't be so sure that other people are going to do right by you.
I go to therapy a lot. And I'm - I'm open about that, and I try to get the help so that I - so that I can cope and - and make my way in life and with my family.
I've been chased. I've been pushed. I've been screamed at. I've been verbally abused. I've been afraid for my safety. But I did it all in the name of entertainment.
I can go to a lot of games, but I'm not a player. I'm kind of an observer. That's why I think I do what I do in life. I just observe. That's what I find fascinating.
There were 84 original episodes. It was rated No. 1 and No. 2 on the Fox Children's Network. We figured it was time to make it available to people who have never watched it.
Stand-up comedy is a sickness. Who wouldn't want a room full of people laughing and screaming at you just because of who you are? Nothing is as good, except maybe having a baby.
I was totally involved in Bobby's World from the time we started the idea to sitting with the artists on how he would look, to the script meetings, the music, the lyrics, the songs.
My whole life is a practical joke. Every evening and every show has really become about entertaining me. I was always like that. And now I've come full circle because that's what the TV show is too.
What are the two biggest things online? Selfies and emojis. We're combining them. Instead of sending some character that means nothing with a hat - what if it was your face doing something? Me-moji.
Standup keeps me grounded and keeps me in touch. I get to go from small towns to big cities, across Canada and the U.S., and you're out there and talking to people. You get a sense of what they respond to.
You can't be the dad who takes your kid out after your wife has said, 'No ice cream,' buys the ice cream, and says, 'Don't tell your mother.' You teach the child to lie - and to disrespect the other parent.
It's really not that hard. If I do a Tonight Show, it's six or seven minutes. If I do a concert, it's 90 minutes. If I do an interview, that's 15 minutes. So by the end of the day I've done three hours worth of work.