Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I'm the voice of honesty.
Don't let the government win.
I will never feel successful.
I don't talk about my salary.
I'm in a war, a cultural war.
I didn't listen to executives.
Rick Shapiro is a top comedian.
I'm not looking for a paycheck.
It's no treat being in bed with me.
Mike Walker is the Hemingway of gossip.
I'm down with just the Backstreet Boys.
I feel blessed, I really feel fulfilled.
Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.
I believe in censorship when it benefits me.
I've come to appreciate other people's talents.
I am completely pissed off that I'm circumcised.
I think people of lesser talent will become stars.
This country (United States) has too many freedoms.
I will never vote Democrat again, they are Communists.
I will always be mad at someone. That will never go away.
It's okay for a man to commit adultery if his wife is ugly.
Relationships are based on trust until you meet someone new.
I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.
I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.
I believe we will start believing in God as we get closer to death.
I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.
Please, with the God talk. Hate to break it to you, but there is no God.
I wanted to go hide. I wasn't looking to be more famous, I'm famous enough.
I'm going to take over the world. Everyone watch out, you're in big trouble.
I'm a believer that satellite radio, whether I'm on it or not, will take off.
There are a lot of so-called "good Americans" who are really a bunch of bums.
I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous? Maybe.
Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.
I think I could create a cult, no problem. The hard part is getting people to kill themselves.
I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you know? I really do.
I can't imagine the biggest blow to me was that marriage not working out. That just flipped me out.
My show was revolutionary, ground-breaking. When I came on the scene, people were not doing a thing.
Talent is what drives this world ... Doesn’t matter how many satellites you f---ing stick in the air.
I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have been found indecent or obscene.
You've got to be a little vicious. You've got to be narcissistic. You've got to be on fire about your career.
Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead in the water. It's not good.
When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours a day for you and never, ever burn his audience.
The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.
'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it the editor's choice. It sure isn't based on sales.
I still feel like I gotta prove something. There are a lot of people hoping I fail. But I like that. I need to be hated.
Most of the things I do are misunderstood. Hey, after all, being misunderstood is the fate of all true geniuses, is it not?
Why be uptight about bowel movements and sex? We all have sex. We all have penises -- except for those of us who have vaginas.
I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.
I really didn't know much about the Libertarians. I knew they were for less government and more individual freedom. I liked that.
I've always thought that a name says a lot about a person. So naturally, being named Howard, I always wanted to crawl into a hole.