Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I am very quick to judge.
I think the word is adult!
I loved Lucille Ball growing up.
I don't think anyone wants to be gay.
Tolerance is forced on people in London.
I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.
The BBC is a victim of its own independence.
Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.
I am really bad at actually interviewing people.
Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!
I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.
My life could have been so grim really, really grim.
My life could have been so grim... really, really grim.
All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.
Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV.
Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.
I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.
I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.
I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes.
The only time I took Ecstacy was years and years ago. It was absolutely amazing.
In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints
I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.
I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.
Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.
I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.
If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.
It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.
The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.
It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.
I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.
You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.
A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.
The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.
An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.
One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.
A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.
Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.
I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.
My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.
You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.
I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.
The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.'
If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win.
Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.
I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time.
Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.
It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?
The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.