Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Camelot is a silly place.
Bring out... The Comfy Chair!!!!
I fart in your general direction.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
One, two, ... five!" "Three, my lord.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Always look on the bright side of life.
A murderer is only an extroverted suicide.
I hope I will have achieved something lasting.
She turned me into a newt. ... But I got better.
Exploding is a perfectly normal medical phenomenon.
I am known by many names, but you may call me...Tim.
One thing for sure - a sheep is not a creature of the air.
When Beethoven went deaf, the mynah bird just used to mime.
It's nice to see that look of alarm on the faces of the others.
When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled.
My philosophy, like color television, is all there in black and white.
We don't deliberately set out to offend. Unless we feel it's justified.
WHAT is your name? WHAT is your quest? and WHAT is your favorite color?
I can't talk to a man who bears an undeserved animosity towards ferrets.
Stormy in love, stormy in interviews, breakfast in bed - that's me, love.
You know, Python should have won a Grammy for our musical work on the show.
I'm having Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam and Spam!
We come from nothing, we are going back to nothing-In the end what have we lost? Nothing!
Dressing up as decrepit old ladies, and even decrepit young ladies, was one of our staples.
Health care does not worry me a great deal. I've been impressed by some wonderful old people.
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government.
We found that we didn't have much problem with him [J.C.], it was his followers we found questionable.
I'm afraid I'm not personally qualified to confuse cats, but I can recommend an extremely good service.
Tis but a scratch!" "A scratch? Your arm's off!" "No it isn't." "Then what's that?" "Oh come on, pansy!
We are no longer the knights who say Ni! We are now the knights who say ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing!
There is no cannibalism in the British navy, absolutely none, and when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount.
World War II... did not happen to everyone, but it happened to most. There were people from Germany who were throwing bombs at us.
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
All ideas come about through some sort of observation. It sparks an attitude; some object or emotion causes a reaction in the other person.
Kilimanjaro is a pretty tricky climb you know, most of it's up until you reach the very very top, and then it tends to slope away rather sharply.
There is no cannibalism in the British Navy, absolutely none. And when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, more than I personally admit.
Death can really absorb a person. Lik most people, I would find it pleasant not to have to go, but you just accept that it's more or less inevitable.
John Howard Davies was not a very human person... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok.
John Howard Davies was not a very human person ... if you made a mistake of any kind, any sort of pause in speech, he would treat you rather as if he was a schoolmaster.
You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives.
You see, I don't belive that libraries should be drab places where people sit in silence, that has been the main reason for our policy of employing wild animals as librarians.
I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.
At that time, a friend shall lose his friend's hammer, and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there only just the night before.
McGough: I'm sorry. I'm afraid I've caught poetry. Mr Bones: Oh really? Well, don't worry, sir - I used to suffer from short stories. McGough: Really? When? Mr Bones: Oh, once upon a time...
An argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a definite proposition... A contradiction is just the automatic gainsaying of anything the other person says." No, it's not.
Nudge, nudge. Snap, snap. Grin, grin. Wink, wink, say no more? Could be, could be taken on holiday. Could be yes - swimming costumes. Know what I mean. Candid photography. Know what I mean, nudge nudge.
When you're chewing on life's gristle Don't grumble, give a whistle And this'll help things turn out for the best... And...always look on the bright side of life... Always look on the light side of life.
Sir Beldevere: What makes you think she's a witch? Peasant 3: Well, she turned me into a newt! Sir Beldevere: A newt? Peasant 3: [meekly after a long pause] ... I got better. Crowd: [shouts] Burn her anyway!