Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
There are only two classes in good society in England: the equestrian classes and the neurotic classes.
As an old soldier, I admit the cowardice: it's as universal as seasickness, and matters just as little.
There is in man a specific lust for cruelty which infects even his passion of pity and makes it savage.
If I were a woman, I'd simply refuse to speak to any man or do anything for men until I'd got the vote.
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
All censorships exist to prevent anyone from challenging current conceptions and existing institutions.
The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me.
A man of great common sense and good taste - meaning thereby a man without originality or moral courage.
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
A socialist is somebody who doesn't have anything, and is ready to divide it up equally among everybody.
The road to ignorance is paved with good editions. Only the illiterate can afford to buy good books now.
The way to deal with worldly people is to frighten them by repeating their scandalous whisperings aloud.
Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree.
It is long and hard and painful to create life: it is short and easy to steal the life others have made.
I like to quote myself frequently and often, it makes me sound much more intelligent than I actually am.
If all the statisticians in the world were laid head to toe, they wouldn't be able to reach a conclusion
Marriage is good enough for the lower classes: they have facilities for desertion that are denied to us.
The most revolutionary invention of the Nineteenth Century was the artificial sterilization of marriage.
Find enough clever things to say, and you're a Prime Minister; write them down and you're a Shakespeare.
Property, said Proudhon, is theft. This is the only perfect truism that has been uttered on the subject.
Sister, you're trying to keep me alive as an old curiosity, but I'm done, I'm finished, I'm going to die.
The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity.
A man's own self is the last person to believe in him, and is harder to cheat than the rest of the world.
If you say that God is good, great, blessed, wise or any such thing, the starting point is this : God is.
The longer I live, the more convinced am I that this planet is used by other planets as a lunatic asylum.
Our prejudices are so deeply rooted that we never think of them as prejudices but call them common sense.
A man who has no office to go, to I don't care who he is, is a trial of which you can have no conception.
I must ... warn my readers that my attacks are directed against themselves, not against my stage figures.
Changeable women are more endurable that monotonous ones; they are sometimes murdered but never deserted.
The liar's punishment is not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.
An American has no sense of privacy. He does not know what it means.There is no such thing in the country.
Whenever I see the word Operation, especially Trifling Operation, I at once write off the patient as dead.
We must always think about things, and we must think about things as they are, not as they are said to be.
There are no perfectly honorable men; but every true man has one main point of honor and a few minor ones.
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says: he is always convinced that it says what he means.
The whole strength of England lies in the fact that the enormous majority of the English people are snobs.
Beauty is all very well at first sight; but who ever looks at it when it has been in the house three days?
Keep away from books and from men who get their ideas from books, and your own books will always be fresh.
Those who admire modern civilization usually identify it with the steam engine and the electric telegraph.
An English army led by an Irish general: that might be a match for a French army led by an Italian general.
The person who is ignorant enough to believe that his nourishment depends on meat is in a horrible dilemma.
The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not.
Man is the only animal which esteems itself rich in proportion to the number and voracity of its parasites.
When I was young, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. So I did ten times more work.
Everyone can see that the people who hunt are the right people and the people who don't are the wrong ones.
Englishmen never will be slaves; they are free to do whatever the government and public opinion allow them.
The word morality, if we met it in the Bible, would surprise us as much as the word telephone or motor car.
We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
There is only one person an English girl hates more than she hates her elder sister; and that is her mother.
No man who is occupied in doing a very difficult thing, and doing it very well, ever loses his self-respect.