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I wish Mike Ruddock nothing but the very best in whatever he does in the future. I will always remember him as the guy who had the confidence to make me captain of Wales.
Someone said on social media that I was the son of Satan for being open about my sexuality. I told my mother, and she laughed and said, 'Well, what the hell does that make me?'
You tell that to people until you are blue in the face and they struggle to believe it, but I am being totally truthful when I say that all that matters to me is Wales winning.
I don't know if my life is going to be easier because I'm out but, if it helps someone else, if it makes one young lad pick up the phone to ChildLine, then it will have been worth it.
My parents, my family and my friends all love me and accept me for who I am and, even if the public are upset by this, I know the love of those people who mean the most to me will never change.
Growing up I wasn't aware of a single gay person in our town. The only people who were gay that you had any idea of were Kenny Everett and people like him on TV. I thought, that's not what I am.
My fear of coming out wasn't about rejection. I was scared people would say: 'Why were you lying to me? If you've been lying about that what else are you lying about?' Lying is my biggest regret.
I had a lot of anger because I didn't like who I was when I was off the field. I used to relish the chance to try and hurt somebody in a legal way, and in the game of rugby you were able to do that.
There are excuses for dropping the ball or missing a tackle. But there are no excuses for not playing with a passion for your team-mates and as long as I get that response and they play well, I'll be happy.
When I first started at Bridgend, I'd see the amount of work Rob Howley put in on his own after the team had all gone home. He was doing ridiculous amounts. So I started training like him. Always on my own.
Every gay man will tell you that 'coming out' is like a weight lifted from your shoulders and beng able to walk down the street knowing that there is nothing for me to hide has been a liberating experience.
When I got married to my ex-wife, Jemma, I took my vows very, very seriously. I've been brought up with good values and I don't go into anything thinking: this is just for the sake of it - it's not going to last.
The most famous man in the world has his down days. It's life. But, for me, the rainy moments are isolated moments. I'm always at least half-full. And the rest of the time I'm smiling - all the way up to the brim.
If I keep getting letters or if I keep getting messages from people who are still taking strength from my story, who are still finding it difficult and struggling, then you know what, then I'll keep doing what I do.
I've been through the first cap, the 50th, and the 100th, and I defy any player who has ever gone past all those milestones to look at each of them and say that first cap isn't the one that makes him tingle the most.
Playing rugby has been my whole life and for me, keeping fit was part of my job. But when I gave up my career, I was determined to keep motivated, and that isn't always easy when you have lost the competitive edge to it.
I was able to come out as gay publicly because my family had accepted me. They thought nothing of it, and without them I wouldn't have been able to do it. If I didn't have them in my life I would have felt like I had no one.
I loved playing rugby so much. I would have played rugby every day if I could have. I loved being a player so much, I don't know if I could sit on the side, with the passion I have and try and influence without being on there.
I became the master of playing the straight bat - I would go to bars with the boys, I would always be the one to start a fight, to be outrageous and drink the most. I even went to the extreme of marrying the perfect woman for me.
You've got to be a right grouch to hate holidays, but one thing I do hate is the old towel on the sun bed trick. It kills me that people get up at five in the morning and go down to the swimming pool and reserve their sun bed with a towel.
The rugby team is a massive part of the city and generates a real passion but there is also far more to Toulouse. I learned not only to respect the history of the club but also the area and I soon came to appreciate 'buildings and structures.
I'm not going on a crusade but I'm proud of who I am. I feel I have achieved everything I could ever possibly have hoped to achieve out of rugby and I did it being gay. I want to send a positive message to other gay people that they can do it, too.
I was born and raised to play rugby. I have two parents who are hugely proud of my rugby achievements, but even they say that maybe it was just a platform to give me a voice to do something better, and rugby wasn't what I was all about. Something else was.
Toulouse opened my eyes as a player and as a person. I returned to Wales 10 times better for the experience. I admit that when I went there I was not life-savvy: I was a wild child who lived life instinctively. I would walk past a building and not even notice it.
I don't try and coax people to come out because it needs to be right for them as an individual but when I speak to some people I realise that the power and influence that famous sportspeople have is amazing and to show such a positive message can change the world.
I was always driven by the idea that if people ever found out about who I was then the stature I created for myself within rugby would have to be as relevant as the fact I was gay. It was always the driving factor to be the strongest, the fastest, the most skilful.
When the Wales squad met up for the 2005 autumn internationals, I was already concerned that we were slipping into bad habits. And, yes, the role of head coach Mike Ruddock was, in my opinion, becoming a problem that would eventually need to be addressed if nothing changed.
I knew I was gay at 18, but to come out then would have meant I would not have achieved what I did in rugby. I loved rugby so much and it was so important to me that I made the decision to keep my sexuality secret. People may disagree with that, but it was my belief and my decision.
Gay men are accepted in films, music and politics because people came out and broke the mould and stereotype in those industries. What I am trying to do is break the trend in rugby and sport in general and show any aspiring sportsman, regardless of his age, that the mould has been broken.
If you add children to a marriage, they bring a different dimension to the relationship. If I'd had a child and I believed it would have made my child's life better by not coming out, the chances are I wouldn't have done it. Because I think you do whatever it takes to make your child happy.
My old man works in the postal service, my mum in a hospital and my brother in a factory. They're my family and when I play rugby I'm representing them. But coming out was different. More than anyone, I feared for my father. I used to be a postman myself and so I know that working environment.
It is the toughest, most macho of male sports, and with that comes an image. In many ways, it is barbaric, and I could never have come out without first establishing myself and earning respect as a player. Rugby was my passion, my whole life, and I wasn't prepared to risk losing everything I loved.
You could say I'm the pioneer in the way I have changed some people's perception of not only sports people but of gay men in general. It's also important that people also realise that as much as a pioneer I'm also just a normal person. I'm normal but I've done something that's pretty powerful as well.
I can remember lacing up my boots ahead of my first cap against Japan in the 1995 World Cup in South Africa. I remember the changing room, the smell of the place, every last detail of how I warmed up, walking out onto the pitch, thinking how proud my parents would be. I was doing all I ever wanted to do.
I became a master of disguise and could play the straight man down to a tee, sometimes over-compensating by getting into fights or being overly aggressive because I didn't want the real me to be found out. So I created this alter ego, knowing full well that I was living in my little fantasy bubble, my shell.
Toulouse expanded my game. You were given a freedom to play and express yourself on the field. Toulouse is the biggest club in Europe, rugby's equivalent of Real Madrid. Their game has always been about offloading and running but it is also physical, the complete 'package. It was always exciting, no matter how close a game was.
Other sportsmen have confided in me that they're gay. The advice I give is that coming out is great for you as a person, but that you also have to remember you're a role model. As a sportsman you take the money and the glory, but you also take the responsibility that comes with it and make sure the stories that follow are positive.