Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it.
Surround yourself with supportive people. All the negative people, man you have to push them aside.
I'm always ready for TV. I don't have to edit my jokes - when you work clean, you can work anywhere.
I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.
I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part.
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.
There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.
[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18.
I never go perform somewhere alone. I've done that since day one. I've always taken other comics with me.
I think the furthest I ever got was Guitar Hero. If I could start a band like that, I think I could do it.
I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.
In the beginning, yes. I didn't like it because I wanted people to know me by Gabriel Iglesias, not by Fluffy.
I got on the high school speech team and everyday I would get up in front of the class and just start talking.
I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try.
I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere.
Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.
I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.
I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day.
I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you.
Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage.
It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say.
That was the challenge. How can you tell the story here and make sure it goes the same way on the other side of the world?
Well, like I said, there's no reason everyone can't have a piece of the pie, even if there's a gordo there eating most of it.
When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry.
I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it.
I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.
Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.
Best advice, bro: Think big. Don't think small. If you think small, then you're going to stay small. Think (about) the broad scope.
I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.
I don't even have a clue as to where to find a pregnancy test. I'm looking at all the aisles... they don't have one that says 'oops.
I was a big fan of Rodney Dangerfield. He had this HBO Young Comedians Special and he'd always bring up new talent, and I loved that!
I usually travel with a posse. I roll deep. I travel like a rapper, but without the artillery. We don't carry guns, we carry cookies.
I like to tell old jokes on stage after about an hour, or an hour and a half. I'll bring those old ones back because the fans love them.
I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo.
When I was a kid I did impressions and funny voices a lot. When I was telling a story I would use the voices to make it more entertaining.
I have no talent when it comes to pianos or guitars or any of that, even karaoke. For karaoke, I have to be wasted to get up there and sing.
Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated.
I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.
I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.
I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake.
People see a big dude and they hear that high pitched voice or "Eglasias with an 'I'" and love it because they can relate and go "I know that person!".
Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years.
Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he comes up to me and goes "you want a falcon?".
There's been a lot of guys that come out of Texas who have made it really big. So it's not a geographic thing, it's a how hard are you willing to work for it.
I started talking about things that everybody could relate to. And that's not to say I deserted my roots, I just found a way to talk about things in a broad way.
I don't get controversial, I don't get political and I don't tell you what to do with your life. I just go out there and tell some stories, and people can relate.
Connecting with people is not hard. I love the interaction and the feedback after shows. It does take some time, but the fans appreciate it which makes it worth it.
My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off.