Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Never have more children than you have car windows.
Laugh now, cry later.
He who laughs.....lasts.
Cats invented self-esteem.
No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
She's as funny as a toothache
Do I have to use my own money?
I used everything you gave me.
Every puppy should have a boy.
Success is outliving your failures
Children make your life important.
A small waist makes you tire easily.
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
Housework can kill you if done right.
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
The term 'working mother' is redundant.
God created man, but I could do better.
When humor goes, there goes civilization.
When humor go's, there go's civilization.
I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food
Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.
I lost everything in the post-natal depression.
Poached eggs are good, poached animals are not.
Never order food in excess of your body weight.
I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
Written on her tombstone: "I told you I was sick.
My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job.
If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk?
How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.
Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede.
There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.
A child needs your love most when he deserves it least
Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth.
Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.
Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.
