Quotes by Ellie Taylor - Page 1

I was a massive geek.
Ellie Taylor /
Geek
Massive
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I have no maternal instincts.
Ellie Taylor /
Instincts
Maternal
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I've had some bad gigs, don't get me wrong.
Ellie Taylor /
Gigs
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Playing the Hammersmith Apollo was pretty special.
Ellie Taylor /
Apollo
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I prefer clothes with a waist rather than boxy shapes.
Ellie Taylor /
Shapes
Waist
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The real pleasure of cruising is arriving at a new destination.
Ellie Taylor /
Arriving
Destination
Real Pleasure
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When I was younger it was people like Victoria Wood who I loved.
Ellie Taylor /
Victoria
Wood
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I started comedy as a hobby with no intention of making it my career.
Ellie Taylor /
Intention
No Intention
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I tend to read quite serious things in order to try and appear superior.
Ellie Taylor /
Appear
Superior
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I was always the tallest. I was five foot seven when I finished junior school.
Ellie Taylor /
Finished
Seven
Foot
Junior
Tallest
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If you haven't truly died a million times as a comic you haven't gigged enough!
Ellie Taylor /
Comic
Died
Million
Million Times
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I was never thin enough to be a proper model and not big enough to be plus-size.
Ellie Taylor /
Enough Never Big
Big Enough
Model
Proper
Thin
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Show Me The Funny' was not very successful ratings wise, but the right people saw me.
Ellie Taylor /
Ratings
Right People
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Nothing gets a party started like some 110 per cent proof Ouzo from Kavos circa 2002.
Ellie Taylor /
Party
Proof
Cent
Gets
Per
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I wear a lot of black, floaty things, but I've got lots of bright, flowery stuff, too.
Ellie Taylor /
Bright
Flowery
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I reckon I'm in pyjamas 70 per cent of my life. But I do love getting dressed up, too.
Ellie Taylor /
Getting Dressed
Life Love My Life
Cent
Dressed
Reckon
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I'm definitely my worst critic. I guess that's good because it keeps you on your toes.
Ellie Taylor /
Toes
Critic
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I was working in a day job in marketing but I had my sights on doing an open-mic night.
Ellie Taylor /
Marketing
Night Day Doing
Day Job
Sights
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If I see a baby, I don't feel anything. It's like Theresa May walking past a homeless person.
Ellie Taylor /
Homeless
Theresa
Walking
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Lots of people do stand up shows with no narrative, but I love a beginning, a middle and an end.
Ellie Taylor /
Narrative
Stand Up
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I feel like everyone could do with starting wearing SPF at least a decade earlier than they do, just for ageing.
Ellie Taylor /
Ageing
Decade
Earlier
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People who have heard of me have heard of me mostly through presenting and asked, 'Why have you gone into comedy?'
Ellie Taylor /
Presenting
Me People Comedy
Asked
Mostly
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There's always someone out there being mean, but what upsets me is the spite. Why are you like that? Why are you so horrible?
Ellie Taylor /
Being Mean
Spite
Always Me Why
Me Always Why
Upsets
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I feel like the timbre of your voice as a woman doesn't cut through as well as a loud bassy voice, so you need to noticeably speak up.
Ellie Taylor /
Loud
Speak
Voice
Cut
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I'm not interested in babies at all. Babies to me are like wasps: pointless, irritating and even one can ruin a picnic. They're just not my bag at all.
Ellie Taylor /
Irritating
Not Interested
Pointless
Wasps
Babies
Bag
Interested
Picnic
Ruin
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I went out with a guy from Wolverhampton once. He took me to watch a Wolves match. A man in the seat behind me burned a hole in my coat with a cigarette.
Ellie Taylor /
Burned
Cigarette
Guy
Behind
Seat
Coat
Watch
Hole
Match
Took
Wolves
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Everyone knows the feeling where you're in the pub and you make your mates laugh. It's awesome, you feel like you rock. That's what comedians want with a bit of extra ego.
Ellie Taylor /
Mates
Comedians
Extra
Pub
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With social distancing restrictions in place, many are finding themselves isolated from their support networks and suddenly navigating parenthood differently than they expected.
Ellie Taylor /
Isolated
Parenthood
Support
Networks
Finding
Restrictions
Suddenly
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I once hosted the Butcher Shop of the Year Awards. There's nothing like performing to the personification of the phrase a 'sausage fest' to hammer home how you've hit the big time.
Ellie Taylor /
Awards
Personification
Sausage
Big Time
Butcher
Hammer
Phrase
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My dad's pretty funny. He's funny for all of the wrong reasons. The first time I did standup at Edinburgh he sat in the front row and wore sunglasses because he didn't want to put me off.
Ellie Taylor /
Edinburgh
Sat
Sunglasses
Wrong Reasons
Row
Standup
Wore
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There was the phase I went through where I'd put streaks of red food colouring in my fringe as some kind of budget instant hair dye. Fine until it rained and I looked like I'd had a head injury.
Ellie Taylor /
Fringe
Injury
Instant
Dye
Phase
Rained
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I did a standup show called 'Show Me the Funny,' so from that I got some TV stuff and people would book me for gigs. I wasn't really good enough at that point, so had to catch up with expectations.
Ellie Taylor /
Gigs
Funny Good Me
Tv
Catch
Standup
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I'd like to be on 'Graham Norton.' Just because I used to do the audience warm-up for the 'Graham Norton' show, and I just think that would be a beautifully lovely, typical end to a narrative. I like a neat ending.
Ellie Taylor /
Lovely
Narrative
Typical
Beautifully
Ending
Graham
Norton
Warm-Up
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For many people, Christmas is indeed the most wonderful time of year. But the festive period can also bring its own unique stresses and strains. But don't despair: there are solutions to many - if not all - of these issues.
Ellie Taylor /
Christmas
Despair
Festive
Issues
Solutions
Unique
Time Christmas People
Period
Indeed
Strains
Stresses
Wonderful Time
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I would like to go to the Oscars. I'm not even talking about being nominated - although that would be lovely. Even if it was I won a competition on the back of a crisp packet to go to the Oscars I would like to go to the Oscars.
Ellie Taylor /
Competition
Lovely
Oscars
Although
Crisp
Won
Nominated
Packet
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When I've been on shows as a guest, I'm backstage, so I don't usually hear what the warm-up is saying, so I went and watched a couple of people do it and thought, 'Actually, I reckon this is do-able.' The audience is usually excited to be there; it's just getting a good chat with people.
Ellie Taylor /
Audience
Backstage
Watched
Chat
Guest
Hear
Reckon
Saying
Warm-Up
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My sister told me: 'You need to have a baby so that you've got someone to look after you when you're old.' And I was like: 'Hang on - I thought that's what the NHS was for? Unless the NHS is that screwed by the time I'm old, you've literally had to give birth to your own medical professional.'
Ellie Taylor /
Sister
Medical
Birth
Nhs
Time Your Me
By The Time
Hang
Literally
Professional
Screwed
Unless
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I want to do everything, so when I started I wanted to be an actress, and I've always written funny things. I love that; it gives me a real sense of achievement and joy. I also love presenting. I'd never been interested in it before but found it pretty fun and easy, and I really enjoyed working with a group - standup is so lonely.
Ellie Taylor /
Achievement
Funny Things
Lonely
Presenting
Funny Love Always
Real Sense
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Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with anyone being proud to be a parent. I love children, some of my best friends used to be children. But I was fed up of these 'competitions,' so I decided to do the opposite, I decided to do the non-motherhood challenge and post five photos of myself which made me proud not to be a mother.
Ellie Taylor /
Decided
Fed Up
Five
Parent
Proud
Love Best Myself
Opposite
Being Proud
Challenge
Competitions
Fed
Photos
Post
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Ellie Taylor Quotes - Page 1

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