Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
When a man asks your advice, he usually tells you just how he expects you to decide.
It is a matter of regret that many low, mean suspicions turn out to be well founded.
Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer.
If the fools do not control the world, it isn't because they are not in the majority.
Nearly every lawsuit is an insult to the intelligence of both plaintiff and defendant.
There is no such thing as a convincing argument, although every man thinks he has one.
Many people would be more truthful were it not for their uncontrollable desire to talk.
Youth is about the only thing worth having, and that is about the only thing youth has.
To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation.
Financial sense is knowing that certain men will promise to do certain things, and fail.
A woman who can't forgive should never have more than a nodding acquaintance with a man.
When men are not regretting that life is so short, they are doing something to kill time.
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine that he is polite all the time.
When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.
If you go to church, and like the singing better than the preaching, that's not orthodox.
One of the surprising things in this world is the respect a worthless man has for himself.
If a man takes one day off, it takes him about three days to get the harness fitted again.
People are always neglecting something they can do in trying to do something they can't do.
Reading is like permitting a man to talk a long time, and refusing you the right to answer.
Most people have seen worse things in private than they pretend to be shocked at in public.
When you are in trouble, people who call to sympathize are really looking for the particulars.
No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.
You can't do anything unless you do it yourself. And usually you can't do it yourself very well.
Man is still a savage to the extent that he has little respect for anything that cannot hurt him.
Indignation does no good unless it is backed with a club of sufficient size to awe the opposition.
There is always a type of man who says he loves his fellow men, and expects to make a living at it.
When a man once gets a start holding office, it is nearly always necessary to finally choke him off.
One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
A loafer never works except when there is a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
When people hear good music, it makes them homesick for something they never had, and never will have.
The greatest thing in the world is for a man to be able to do something well, and say nothing about it.
Marriage is a good deal like a circus: there is not as much in it as is represented in the advertising.
You needn't love your enemy, but if you refrain from telling lies about him, you are doing well enough.
As a man handles his troubles during the day, so he goes to bed at night a General, Captain, or Private.
The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
Where the guests at a gathering are well-acquainted, they eat 20 per cent more than they otherwise would.
The worst feeling in the world is the homesickness that comes over a man occasionally when he is at home.
There must be some good in the cocktail party to account for its immense vogue among otherwise sane people.
The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world.
Friends are like a pleasant park where you wish to go; while you may enjoy the flowers, you may not eat them.
Express a mean opinion of yourself occasionally; it will show your friends that you know how to tell the truth.
Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.
It is your enemies who keep you straight. For real use one active, sneering enemy is worth two ordinary friends.
Faith may have removed mountains way off somewhere, a long time ago, but it won't remove a wart at home this week.
There is something in the red of a raspberry pie that looks as good to a man as the red in a sheep looks to a wolf.
What is common sense? That which attracts the least opposition that which brings most agreeable and worthy results.
There is nothing so well known as that we should not expect something for nothing - but we all do and call it Hope.
At first a woman doesn't want anything but a husband, but as soon as gets one, she wants everything else in the world.