Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I strode toward Mr. Coffee with lust in my eyes. We'd had a thing for quite some time now Mr. Coffee and I.
You were the one who hit me on the roof? I hit you on the jaw. We just happened to be on a roof at the time.
Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet
Have they even seen the Winchester boys? Sammy and Dean's existence proves there is a god and she is a woman.
I suck at all this supernatural stuff. But I fry a mean chicken. Oh, good. I hate it when the nice ones get fried.
My plans often went awry. Much like my thoughts. Hold the phones. Maybe Saan had ADD, too. It would explain a lot.
He had threatened my parents. I had to remember that. Still, it was really hard to stay mad at a wounded naked man.
Dead people I could handle. They were usually beyond hysteria. This was the people-left behind part. The hard part.
Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance.
While I was busy reminiscing about my first day on earth, I had forgotten that I was falling to my death. Damned ADD.
How would you like your eggs?" I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?
Maybe I needed sensitivity training. I once signed up for an anger management class, but the instructor pissed me off.
Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt
We really should get some X-rays,” the EMT said. “You just want to fondle my extraneous body parts,” I said to the EMT.
I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.
There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt
Does your uncle need anything? A coffee? A latte?” “He needs someone to bear his illegitimate child if you’re interested
I lowered the gun but didn’t holster it. Not just yet. She could turn out to be psychotic. Or a door-to-door salesperson.
Does Uncle Bob have anything?" "I heard he has an STD." "I mean on the women." "Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs.
Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake.
I did that thing where you scratch your eyebrow and flip someone off at the same time. I'm good at multitasking like that.
Try writing an entire story with only a thousand words at your disposal. It’s a terrific lesson in economy and precession.
I stood and walked around the desk so I could stand over him. Menacingly. Like Darth Vader, only with better lung capacity.
You totally need to watch the news." "Can't." "Why?" "It's too depressing." "Right, because hanging with dead people isn't.
Nobody wants to look like a fool. Nine times out of ten, that reason alone keeps people from allowing themselves to believe.
A guy in an SUV tried to kill me.” “That’s strange.” “Why?” “Because the guy I hired doesn’t drive an SUV.” “That is strange.
She still wasn't convinced. "So, if you were a guy, would you be into me?" "Hon, if I were a guy, I'd be gay." "Yeah, me, too.
You take everything onto your shoulders like that guy who holds up the world, and you shouldn’t. You’re not nearly as muscular.
Still, this whole grim reaper thing should have come with a manual. Or a diagram of some kind. A flowchart would have been nice.
It would be a miracle to solve this case. Luckily, I believed in miracles. No, wait, that was testicles. I believed in testicles.
I sort of got off on making bad guys sweat. Which was not unlike my love of making good guys sweat, just by very different means.
I could hardly be responsible for my actions when everyone around me gave me every opportunity to sink to their low expectations.
A split second later, my life flashed before my eyes, and I came to one important conclusion about it. It was fun while it lasted.
No, no, no, no, no. Anything but murder. Or rape. Or kidnapping. Or armed robbery. Or indecent exposure, ’cause that’s just creepy.
I may as well cut my losses and make a hasty exit while I still had enough self-esteem to walk upright. Crawling was so demoralizing
He's helped me a lot over the years." "I'm sure he has. You scratch his back. He scratches yours." "I have skin allergies. I'm itchy.
What's your specialty? Oh, you know. Madness. Mayhem. Debauchery. And even with all that going for me, I can still make a mean mojito.
After a geological epoch passed in which single-celled organisms evolved into talk show hosts, Mr. Coffee was still holding out on me.
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him anything.
I can hear other things, too. Before you came around, I had no idea a man could make a girl scream like that. Reyes seems very talented.
For the first time in my life, I was in a shoot-out. A real, honest-to-goodness shoot-out with a bad guy. And, apparently, we both sucked.
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought.
Having Reyes so near is painful. I think it has apoplexy." "Do you even know what that means?" "No, but it sounds serious. Like Ebola. Or hives
Can I brush your hair?” she asked as she led the way, her disposition doing a 180 on a dime. Kids. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t eat ’em for lunch.
You’re just using me for my body.” “You don’t have a body,” I’d remind him. “Throw that in my face.” “Technically, you don’t have a face either.
In a moment of sheer terror, I realized I couldn't feel my brain. It was there just a minute ago. Maybe I really was dead. "Do I look dead to you?
My prodding me didn't elicit a reaction. His unseeing eyes stared straight through me. Which was odd. He'd seemed so sane huddled in Cookie's trunk.
Okay, I’ll put someone on it. But you know, the Albuquerque Police Department wasn’t really created to find things out for you.” “Really? That’s weird.
This guy in high school tried to run me over with his dad’s SUV. Bad shoved the vehicle through a store window.” The memory brought a smile to my face.
I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate.