Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Maybe I am just a jerk.
I was raised on NBC television.
You'll be perfect when you're dead
I really like performing for people.
Truthfully, I'm pretty stuck in the '80s.
TV in all its ugliness can be a beautiful thing.
I've discovered a new video game called owning my home.
Television is a populous, derivative, democratic medium.
There are lots of emotions that go with the Fourth of July.
You don’t give someone notes on their performance at a soup kitchen.
There are no normal people, there are just different kinds of weird.
I feel like I am a good person and a professional, very able leader of men.
It was never my direct intention to do anything particularly medium-defying.
I think that casting is probably the most important thing in television production.
What's important is passion, investment, and people laughing out loud as they work.
There's a fine line between a stream of consciousness and a babbling brook to nowhere.
I expect the audience to assume TV is stupid. I accept that it's my job to overcome it.
Emotionally, shows like 'Cheers' and 'Taxi' were classic sitcoms when I was growing up.
Yoda is interesting because, in addition to being wise, he is two feet tall, and a Yoda.
You have to just look at it like Titanic: I know the ship sinks, but this is a love story
I've never done well when I've been appreciated. I've done best when I'm targeted for death.
I feel like my life has always been the 'Hey Look at Me Show.' I'm not apologetic about that.
Once upon a time, something happened, and it was better than something not happening. The end.
Good writers hate bad writing but hating bad writing doesn’t make you good. Writing badly does.
I love 30 Rock. It's one of my favorite shows. It's certainly the gold standard of comedy writing.
I love '30 Rock.' It's one of my favorite shows. It's certainly the gold standard of comedy writing.
Wake up in the morning and say, 'I refuse to be a hack,' and see what happens by the end of the day.
If your ratings are high and there’s money being made, you’re allowed to be a perfectionist in television.
If your ratings are high and there's money being made, you're allowed to be a perfectionist in television.
I am absolutely and inherently self-destructive in that I am always making sure I'm doing what I want to do.
I'm from Wisconsin so I always feel a little nauseous about begging and trying to trick people into liking me.
Everyone knows that there are more people watching any given show than is being registered by the Nielsen system.
Find your voice, shout it from the rooftops, and keep doing it until the people that are looking for you find you.
I am a collaborator with everyone who agrees that I need to be in control. I happily collaborate with my loyalists.
I wish that television would stop selling our hatred of ourselves, and start seducing us with our love of ourselves.
All [tv] shows are like cigarettes. You watch two, you have a higher chance of watching three. They're all addictive.
If somebody's cat happens to turn on the TV, my numbers can double. It's almost unrelated to what's really happening.
Pretty sad. Pretty lonely. But that's how I prefer it? I quess? I guess. It's a good guess. It's the best quess ever.
I wish people used wishes to modify themselves instead of others. Wish to be low maintenance. Wish to be autonomous, even.
When you are in the 8 o'clock position, you can either be a cultural phenomenon, or you're endangered. It's a tough time slot.
I always try to use my medium, and if I get into a normal sitcom-writing contest with normal sitcom writers, I'm going to lose.
I don't really have a lot of appropriate feelings for people on an individual basis, but I've always wanted to make people happy.
The public's perception of your show is what it is, and you don't get to complain how people perceive your show or talk about it.
'I want to touch people but if I touch them in real life they'll slap me.' That's what writing isit's a gross person getting a hug.
I walk with God, and He protects me. That may very well be true. I don't mean to make that sound like a joke, in case He is in charge.
Class clowns are never allowed to date anybody decent, but you don't get beaten up, you're invited to parties, and everybody likes you.
I don't think it's going to be possible for the next generation of writers to tell stories without telling stories about telling stories.
My cat brought me a toy. I thanked her and threw it. She sat there gave me a look that made me realize people and dogs are the crazy ones.
There's the same percentage of genius happening in both genders, but there's less women writing scripts and out there looking for the job.
Storytelling comes naturally to humans, but since we live in an unnatural world, we sometimes need a little help doing what we'd naturally do.