Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
The only question a girl can ask herself when their husband chooses to see '27 Dresses' is this: What on earth has he done?
I prefer to stick to my old-lady goth/Steve Tyler look. I've found my look - white lipstick, black eyeliner, black clothes.
There's no doubt a bit of chicken in a creamy mushroom sauce with a side order of garlic mash will put a smile on your face.
A dark room with some low-level whale music and a flat bed and a woman pulling your shoulder back and forth is a happy place.
Indeed, 'Sex and the City' highlighted the importance of female friendships, and showed the world that it was hip to be single.
I don't work very hard. I dye myself orange and I read out loud in the months from September to December when 'Strictly' is on.
The character of Samantha Jones proved that women over the age of 40 could be magnificently sexy and attractive to men of all ages.
Facebook it turns out, is like MySpace but it's not scary. There aren't a lot of angry looking people with nose rings and um, issues.
I've always thought MySpace sounds like a new estate agency in central London run by two men who favour large-lapel suits and goatees.
Left to their own devices, men would wear trainers with a pair of stonewashed jeans and would think nothing of throwing on a donkey jacket.
Sex and the City: The Movie' - a bit like the All Saints comeback, and the return of the Jammy Dodger, it feels a little staged and all wrong.
I don't believe in Chap Stick, I'm going to say that right now. Carmex can sometimes feel like too much of an attack. It's just too much sometimes.
I love skiing. What on earth have I been doing on a beach all this time? I mean, that's for morons - you can get sunburn and really damage yourself.
Now people who keep fish disturb me the most, if I'm totally honest. They always smell a bit like fish food and they know just a bit too much about eels.
There's nothing quite as perfect as going to a dark room where you can eat fattening food next to the man you love. OK. All right. Like. The man you like.
My mum raised me in a home without mirrors. She's a staunch feminist and wanted us to know that what we look like is the least interesting thing about us.
If I could grow my fringe down to my shoulders to cover my entire face and occasionally peer out to answer questions I would. It's my beauty security blanket.
All my life, I have avoided any sort of exercise. I don't enjoy sweating and I think people who show off about having just done 20 press-ups are pretty weird.
Facebook, I'm learning, is like a man. You have to be smiley and fun and witty but sometimes you have to play it cool and just ignore it for a couple of hours.
If you asked 100 women on the street who they'd like to be, I'm sure most of them would say Kirsty Wark or Germaine Greer. Yawn. Do me a favour - they're lying.
Once, when I was 14 I thought easily the most glamorous thing was white eyeliner inside the eye and then heavy lip liner round the mouth. I think I looked repellent.
Weddings happen once. That's the point. They're a bluster of confetti and hope all wrapped up in sticky wedding cake and four-year-old girls in big dresses with massive bows.
Rodents are pests and not pets, and anything that manically runs around a wheel 24/7 and occasionally has 19 babies in the middle of the night should not be brought into the house.
Stockings are tricky for girls - you worry about them falling down all night and the idea that you dress up at 7pm so that your boyfriend can get excited about six hours later is just too much effort.
I loved 'Life is Beautiful' and action films are great, like 'Die Hard.' My favourite is the mob film - 'Goodfellas,' 'The Godfather,' 'Once Upon a Time In America,' anything with Robert De Niro in it.
There's no fun in relationships. OK - that's not strictly true. I will agree that the first bit can be not totally unpleasant. There's the initial meeting and the heart quickening and the stomach-churning excitement of it all.
The reason why those female celebrities are always in filthy moods is not because they're being hounded by men with massive cameras or because Ridley Scott cancelled their film. They just want to get their hands on a cheeseburger.
Who actually enjoys skiing? Come on, even Olympic ski masters, even James Bond, think that dressing up in all that fluorescent, insulated kit and having to manoeuvre down a mountain in the freezing cold is no way to spend leisure time.
Seriously, Jamie Cullum could be the smallest person on the planet. He might be lovely and charming and you might think we all should spend more time talking about his piano-playing techniques but, seriously, have you seen how short he is?
My kids are the offspring of people who are doing reasonably well and live in the centre of London and the chances are they're going to turn out ghastly anyway. Who's to say they shouldn't have a walk-in wardrobe and possibly a stylist from the age of four?
When you're down and have just split up from your partner everyone says you have to move forward. 'Get on with your life,' 'It's time to meet someone new,' and 'Don't think about the past' are phrases you'll hear for at least six months after the horrible event.
Look, I just read out loud for a living. Most of my friends are doctors or lawyers, people I went to university with, they're on the train at 7 A.M. and don't get home until 7 P.M. They work bloody hard, and they're allowed to be overwhelmed. I don't think I'm allowed, really.
It's deep in the south of India and next to Goa, but thankfully the folk who like Goa haven't worked out that Kerala is a lot nicer and just next door. You do feel that you are discovering somewhere entirely new in Kerala. It makes you feel like you are on a totally different planet.
Being hummed at by someone with magic hands while they knead your neck is good for the soul, but it won't make you giggle for days afterwards. In fact, the second the smiley therapist stops and says, 'You can put your robe on now, the hour is up,' the joy and wonder sort of leaves the room.
Even when my mum used to edit the paper she would come home, put us to bed and then go back to the office. She must have been exhausted. She worked on Sunday papers so I always had her on Mondays. I loved Mondays! She would always be waiting for me outside school. I remember feeling very loved.
Things I am allergic to: people who believe in star signs and think nothing of starting a conversation with: 'Hi, my name's Lucy. I'm a Sagittarius;' rodents (apart from miniature hamsters, which are not in fact rodents but small, breathing, brown balls of cotton wool); and people who go to the gym.
I couldn't tell you my wedding anniversary (although I seem to remember it was in June. Or maybe July. Definitely a month beginning with a 'J,' anyhow. But not January. Um. I think) and people I went to school with get extremely fed up with me when I bump into them in the street and have absolutely no recollection of their faces.
If you meet a girl who says: 'Darling, what do you mean? Of course I wear suspenders. I've worn them all my life. I think tights are for old people,' then know this: she's desperate to have kids, she wants you and her to live in the same house as her mum, she never wants to go out and she just wants to lie on your chest for the next 15 years.
Yes, of course I love little Sarah Jessica Parker. I love the fact that when she accepts awards, she thanks everyone she's ever met and inanimate objects that have 'been kind to her.' And I love the fact that she hasn't had a flesh-coloured mole removed from her forehead (I'm not making it up; have a closer look next time she's on the screen).