Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Stanislavski was right, you can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.
New carpet will exude poisonous formaldehyde for up to two years after it'd been laid. I know the feeling.
Here in your mind you have complete privacy. Here there's no difference between what is and what could be.
The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.
We've spent so much time judging what other people created that we've created very, very little of our own.
To repeat, the way you get to the huge, impossible yes is, you start collecting a lot of easy, small yeses.
I am the all-singing, all-dancing crap of this world.... I am the toxic waste by-product of God's creation.
If there had been zombies on the iceberg when the Titanic hit it, that would have made a much better movie.
It is a hundred-year-old witch book, bound in human skin and probably written in ancient cum...YOU lick it!
You cannot be the person they know and the great, glorious person you want to become. Not at the same time.
Cults make people sing so hard for so long - because it over-oxygenates the blood and sets them up to faint.
A comedy ends with a wedding, and a tragedy ends with a funeral: you always have to juxtapose sex and death.
You become smart when you don't need to quote someone anymore." I am still stupid: I quoted Chuck Palahiniuk
Since we do operate in a binary world, if there's something that cannot be this or that, it drives us crazy.
Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
It takes a lot to get people talking in airplanes. But once they start talking, you just can't shut them up.
Since September 11, 2001, the real world has become too scary for a lot of people to be with - all the time.
Have your adventures, make your mistakes, and choose your friends poorly -- all these make for great stories.
You’re training a new employee,' says Mrs. Clark, 'to take over your boring old job.' When you raise a child.
In truth, the degree of anyone's success depends on how often they can say the word yes and hear the word no.
I am not loved. I am not a beautiful soul. I am not a good-natured, giving person. I am not anybody's savior.
We went sailing one time, and he wore a Speedo, and any smart woman should know that means bisexual at least.
Oh love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me. I'll be anybody you want me to be.
On game shows, some people will take the trip to France, but most people will take the washer and dryer pair.
The best thing about getting a flu shot is that you never again need to wash your hands. That's how I see it.
Sometimes you do something, and you get screwed. Sometimes it's the things you don't do, and you get screwed.
Just for the record, the weather today is increasing turmoil with a possible physical and emotional breakdown.
This isn't about guilt or innocence, he says. The dinosaurs weren't morally good or bad, but they're all dead.
Besides, it happens fast for some people and slow for some, accidents or gravity, but we all end up mutilated.
We are not special. We are not crap or trash, either. We just are. We just are, and what happens just happens.
I tell everyone I interact with what I'm working on and let them bring me anecdotes that illustrate my themes.
People have to deal with their issues together; they have to expose themselves and kind of exhaust themselves.
Hey, you created me! I didn't create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!
I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
The government says Rant's alive because they need a villain. The kids say he's alive because they need a hero.
The amazing miracle of death, when one second you're walking and talking, and the next second you're an object.
I try to tell a story the way someone would tell you a story in a bar, with the same kind of timing and pacing.
Your folks are god, you love them and you want to make them happy but you still want to make up your own rules.
You couldn't have small, dying children in a movie without really bringing everyone down, but you can in comics.
I figure if Eve could get us into this mess, I could get us out. After all, God really likes to see a go-getter.
After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting.
Emotionally, in our minds, we get so filled with resentments where we've got a story about absolutely everything.
No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood edges up too close.
When working, my diet degrades to pizza three times a day, because I don't want to distract myself from anything.
I see the strongest and the smartest men who have ever lived... and these men are pumping gas and waiting tables.
In a city this size, every year, hundreds of husbands walk away. Kids leave home. Wives escape. People disappear.
It's my petty fear of personal rejection that allows so many true evils to exist. My cowardice enables atrocities.
The short stories tend to be a journalistic gathering of anecdotes that are put together to make something larger.
People will listen to you only when they know you're dying, otherwise they're just waiting for their turn to talk.