Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
He wanted her to experience all the glorious cheese of life.
...she is too beautiful, I think, to not be inherently evil.
Sometimes this high-tech world calls for low-tech solutions.
Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live.
Devil's Food?" You can only eat so much white cake, my friend.
My fans have great senses of humor and eat too much chocolate.
Faith isn't an act of intelligence, it's an act of imagination.
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
That's a horrible plan." "Yes, but I have chosen to ignore that.
Like God's own chocolate, I'd lick her shadow off a hot sidewalk
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't.
He always had a problem with the purity of others. Never his own.
I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others.
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them.
Shoes off in the whale! And don't try and make a break for the anus.
Nobody's perfect... Well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
Action based on hope just felt better than the paralysis of certainty.
Carlton Mellick III has the craziest book titles and the kinkiest fans!
Inside, I was like: "Ha, suck my spiky rubber strap-on, vampyre hunter!
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell
Unless you can change the past, you’re wasting the present on this guilt
Why write a song when no one can play the notes or understand the lyrics?
As Richard Pryor was to Eddie Murphy, that's what Kurt Vonnegut was to me.
May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
Everything in Venice is just a little bit creepy, as much as it's beautiful.
It was sometimes difficult to reconcile a man's talents with his personality.
We know there's going to be nothing but pain, but we go back again and again.
Cofishes-other fish in a group, coworkers, cohorts, etc. Shut up, it's a word.
I was seven before I realized that you could eat breakfast with your pants on.
In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime.
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it.
The pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity.
Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die.
The reason I wrote 'You Suck' was that I so enjoyed spending time with Tommy and Jody.
Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk
An original thought would crack your feeble skull like a thunderbolt, you craven vulture.
The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room.
That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith.
Marry for love, stay married, and raise happy children who are quick to laugh and slow to judge.
I can't write a book like 'Lamb' or 'Fool' every year. It just takes too much research and craft.
You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate.
It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other.
One day the good times had to keep on rolling, and all of life's horseshit would turn to circuses.
All fear comes from trying to see the future, Biff. If you know what is coming, you aren't afraid.
Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.
Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet.
I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred.
I love British cursing - the cadence of it, the joy in the sound of the words, and the vulgarity of it.
Do we still have to floss?" Tommy asked. "I mean, what's the point of being immortal if we have to floss?