I feel upsettingly de-natured. If Penelope Cruz were one of my nurses, I wouldn't even notice.

Perhaps the values of socialists can only be realized by socialists in a nonsocialist society.

If someone tells me that I've hurt their feelings I'm still waiting to hear what your point is.

I've been to Uganda and to North Korea and to Eritrea, countless horror spots around the world.

When you fall ill, people send you CDs. Very often, in my experience, these are by Leonard Cohen

The thing about religion is that it's the first and the worst. The worst because it's the first.

In order to terminate a pregnancy, you have to still a heartbeat, switch off a developing brain.

At Oxford one was positively encouraged to take wine during tutorials. The tongue must be untied.

The reading public isn't born that doesn't think foreigners are either funny or faintly sinister.

The penalty for getting mugged in an American city and losing your ID is that you can't fly home.

I am a person of faith: I am a person who will believe practically anything on no evidence at all.

I'd like to prove to other people that it's not the end of everything to be diagnosed with cancer.

I became a journalist partly so that I wouldn't ever have to rely on the press for my information.

Endless praise and adoration, limitless abnegation and abjection of self; a celestial North Korea.

What is it you most dislike? Stupidity, especially in its nastiest forms of racism and superstition.

The Koran shows every sign of being thrown together by human beings, as do all the other holy books.

Trust is not the same as faith. A friend is someone you trust. Putting faith in anyone is a mistake.

Literature, not scripture, sustains the mind and - since there is no other metaphor - also the soul.

I have tried for much of my life to write as if I was composing my sentences to be read posthumously.

Evolution is, as well as smarter than we are, infinitely more callous and cruel, and also capricious.

Friends call me Hitch. Maybe it can be turned into a 900-phone number. People would pay to talk to me.

Authors who moan with praise for their editors always seem to reek slightly of the Stockholm syndrome.

What better way for a ruling class to claim and hold power than to pose as the defenders of the nation.

The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.

For the people who ostensibly wish me well or are worried about my immortal soul, I say I take it kindly.

Those who want to be offended don't have the right to try and close down the newspaper that offends them.

Principles have a way of enduring, as do the few irreducible individuals who maintain allegiance to them.

Religion, it is true, still possesses the huge if cumbersome and unwieldy advantage of having come first.

She's got no charisma of any kind [but] I can imagine her being mildly useful to a low-rank porn director.

Why do humans exist? A major part of the answer: because Pikaia Gracilens survived the Burgess decimation.

How ya doin'?' I always think, What kind of a question is that?, and I always reply, 'A bit early to tell.

Terrorism works better as a tactic for dictatorships, or for would-be dictators, than for revolutionaries .

"Objective" means that, in a confrontation with the evidence, you would be willing to change your own mind.

I've had some dark nights of the soul, of course, but giving in to depression would be a sellout, a defeat.

Thanks to the telescope and the microscope, religion no longer offers an explanation for anything important.

There is no reason at all why there aren't enough people to guard New Orleans and to help stabilise Baghdad.

If you think that the intifada in France is about housing, go and try covering the story wearing a yarmulka .

Littera scripta manet - 'The written word will remain'. That's true, but it won't be that much comfort to me.

The mildest criticism of religion is also the most radical and the most devastating one. Religion is man-made.

With modern American dentistry it is simply amazing to see what transformation can be wrought in a single day.

It is not that there are no certainties, it is that it is an absolute certainty that there are no certainties.

Distrust compassion; prefer dignity for yourself and others. Don't be afraid to be thought arrogant or selfish.

Religion attacks us in our deepest integrity by saying we wouldn't be able to make a moral decision without it.

Do not imagine that you can escape judgment if you rob people with a false prospectus rather than with a knife.

I have nowhere claimed nor even implied that unbelief is a guarantee of good conduct or even an indicator of it.

To terrify children with the image of hell, to consider women an inferior creation - is that good for the world?

Take the risk of thinking for yourself. Much more happiness, truth, beauty and wisdom will come to you that way.

I do not believe any of the statistical claims that are made about public opinion. I don't see why anybody does.

I have quite a decent constitution in spite of all my abuse of it and my advanced years. I'm still quite robust.

To terrify children with the image of hell... to consider women an inferior creation. Is that good for the world?

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