Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
I love tweeting.
An attitude will give you heft.
I've lived through the Great Depression.
I'm a charming coward; I fight with words.
I wrote three books about growing up in the Bronx.
Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.
The death of your beloved is the hardest time of all.
Improvisation is just writing in front of an audience.
The key to longevity is to interact with other people.
I served in World War II in our fight to defeat fascism.
The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.
It's like a bird. If he knew what he was doing, he would fall.
I know Samantha Bee, and I know she's not a racist or anything.
If you can get a laugh out of a name, you're ahead of the game.
When I found out I could write I was shocked! I didn't know I could write.
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
I need to see a woman president in my lifetime. Or the first Jewish president.
I write books that way - I put a first line down and say, "Where does this go?"
'New Girl' is funny. I love Zooey Deschanel. She's the most charming thing around.
Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.
Everybody wants to laugh - you know that. They need to laugh... people need to laugh.
People ask me where I get my vitality, and to tell you the truth, I don't have a clue.
Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
I've seen the invention of television and performed on television even before my family owned one.
I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.
I'm an entertainer and I entertain people and they entertain me back by asking questions. And some of them I answer.
You can get the best out of people if they're happy and not worried or not frightened that they're going to make a mistake.
Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.
'The Dick Van Dyke Show' was my labor of love. When asked the best thing I ever did - that was it. I wrote it originally for myself.
My parents loved comedies, so we saw Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin, the Ritz Brothers, and the Marx Brothers. I wanted to be one of them.
Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.
Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.
'Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid' was my favorite of all the things I ever did, because it was like doing a Sunday crossword puzzle and beating it.
Every morning, I would actually look at the obituaries before I had breakfast. And as a joke I said if I was not in it, I would have the breakfast.
I certainly have warm relationships with people, but you choose the people you have those relationships with. There are some people I don't bother with.
I only please myself. I figure I'm just one of many people. I'm not that different from anybody else and I don't have great language - I'm very ordinary.
My father was a watchmaker and an inventor. I saw him working in the house every day. The work ethic, I got from him. He worked hard and he never complained about it.
There's nothing more satisfying than having an idea and seeing it through to find out that, not only did you like it, but the audience and critics all seemed to agree.
You'd only write what you know and what you know is what you do and the people you know. So you'd write about them or the people you have met casually. It's part of your life.
I've done everything I've wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I've directed movies; I've done almost everything I've wanted to do.
I've done everything I've wanted to do. I have three children, I have grandchildren, I have books, I did movies, I've directed movies, I've done almost everything I've wanted to do.
It's one thing for a father to say, 'Oh, my son is great.' But to have others say it - that's the true reward. Robbie's one of the smartest people I know. He's made such fantastic movies.
A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.
Going through war and living is a very important process. You realize how vulnerable you are and how lucky you are to be in the right place at the right time. As a matter of fact, I have a history of luck.
Anybody who tells a very big lie is paid attention to. If you say, 'Shakespeare could not write. He was illiterate,' everybody says, 'Well, what do you know that we don't?' That's what Trump does all the time.
When you denigrate people, they have two ways to fight back - with their fists and guns, or their mouths. And mouths are seemingly the easiest way to not get hit back. If people are laughing, they're not going to hit you.
When I was 20-something, 30, I fell down a flight of stairs and hurt my back. I went to a therapist who said don't get out of bed until you do certain stretches, and I've been doing them ever since. I guess I'm the original yogi.
If you write, write about what you do and who you are, and you can't be wrong. Don't lie about anything. You are very similar to everybody else in the world. You love, you hate, you have friends, you have enemies. Be who you are.
Even failures can turn into something positive if you just keep going. I wrote a television pilot called 'Head of the Family.' CBS didn't want it. It was considered a failure. But we reworked it. A year later, it became 'The Dick Van Dyke Show.'
I'm not a believer, I call myself an atheist. It was man who invented God. I once wrote that there are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish. There are far too many commandments and you really only need one: Do not hurt anybody.