Quotes of All Topics . Occasions . Authors
Success is for creeps.
Marketing movies is hard.
I don't find movies shocking.
I really like 'Disaster Artist.'
I'm the Emily Dickinson of screenplays.
I really like and admire Michael Moore.
I'd still like to work with Woody Allen.
I actually really like being in the woods.
'The Blair Witch Project' is a great movie.
If you raise a cool adult, that's an achievement.
My daughter and my wife inspire me to make movies.
Sometimes the wheels just fall off a relationship.
I don't get too hung up on what people think of me.
My movies are always about the kooks and the outsiders.
Although it sounds very trite, I wish people were nice.
I'm always amazed that people are interested in comedy.
America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.
It's really hard to watch Leno. I set his chair on fire.
I don't read or watch anything that has to do with Lindsay Lohan.
People go, 'Oh, Trump must be good for comedy,' and I go, 'Ehhh.'
I have an aversion to comedy where everybody speaks in punchlines.
Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.
Even when I was a kid - I was really young - I was drawn to comedy.
I've been known to high-five, and I have a soft spot for Green Day.
If you ever see me at a boat show or at a car show, blow my head off.
Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.
I've been making fun of administrations since I was a teenager onstage.
I can't feel my face. I mean I can touch it. But I can't feel it inside.
How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.
Which is worse - being a has-been or being the guy interviewing a has-been?
I'm really not a fan of letting the audience live vicariously through stuff.
When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.
When I was at my most outrageous and destructive, I alienated almost everybody.
Certainly, shows like 'Black Mirror' helped me. I should send them a fruit basket.
I try not to stick to any one thing, you know. That's always been important to me.
When Will.I.Am punched Perez Hilton, I immediately purchased a bunch of their music.
Don't hoo, hoo, hoo me. There's a fine line between hoo, hoo, hoo and hiel, hiel, hiel.
I was actually offered a talk show on CBS at one point, and I just didn't want to do it.
The movies I make, I never see them as accurately portraying a life, but more like fables.
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.
In the past, the movies I've made are perceived as dark, but a lot of comedies are way darker.
My wife and daughter both bust me on how much I am the guy yelling at kids to get off my lawn.
I'm kind of a dummy. I make movies and not realize until afterwards, 'Oh, I'm the protagonist.'
Trust me: I entertain Joe Six-Pack 30 weekends a year. I don't really think that I'm an elitist.
I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.
I think, like, in real life, I'm actually quiet, and I mumble a lot. But that's not very lucrative.
I always just felt more comfortable just kind of hiding behind a character than being myself onstage.
I do think there are more people who would probably related to my movies and who aren't aware of them.
As long as there's a strong theme that I can identify with, that's what makes me interested in writing.